


Broken

by orangeyhairedimmortal



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Codes & Ciphers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mental Instability, Pain, Parental Roy Mustang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23885824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangeyhairedimmortal/pseuds/orangeyhairedimmortal
Summary: Edward has been missing for almost a year. The only thing Roy had was Ed's pocket watch and the horrible memory that Al was gone. When they finally find the man who the Elrics were investigating, they find out some disturbing things of Edward's whereabouts. Ones that could break a man. When they find him, can they even put him back together?
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 12
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it's pronounced beige, like the color. you'll see.

Roy drank down the last of his beer and looked at the pocket watch in his hand. It wasn't his, but Edward Elric's. It was the only thing his team had found when they went to go find out what had happened to him and Alphonse. He had sent the Elrics on a mission and he only heard from Edward from an outside line with an ominous message saying, _"Colonel, I don't think I'll make it back."_ and the line had gone dead, as if cut. As soon as Roy realized that something was wrong, he and his team went to the place that Roy has sent them, only to find Edward's pocket watch… and Alphonse's armor with the blood seal scratched away.

That had been the most horrifying part of the find to Roy, knowing that poor Alphonse had been literally scratched out of existence. The other thing that nagged at him and haunted Roy every night since then was wondering if Edward even knew about it. Whenever they found him –and they _would_ \- would he have to tell him that Alphonse was dead? Or did he already know?

He wasn't sure which was worse…

"Colonel."

Roy looked up as Riza slid beside him at the bar.

"How many is that for you?" she said, motioning to the beer.

"Three, I believe."

"You need to stop dwelling on it. We're doing everything we can."

"That's not good enough. It's been almost a year! I just need to know if he's alive or dead; that's all. I want solid proof of one of those things."

Riza frowned at him. "Depending on the state he's in, you know that it could be impossible to dictate even that."

Roy knew she was implying Edward's mental state, if he had one still. Hopefully he was fighting tooth and nail like he always did, being a smart ass and driving his assailants crazy. Maybe after a year of back talk, they would abandon him at a train station. He knew that wasn't true though and gripped the pocket watch.

"I won't rest until he is found. I gave them that mission and I caused Alphonse's death… Edward _needs_ to be found."

Riza put her hands on her superior's, comforting him as best as she could. She was anxious about Edward as well but Roy _had_ to keep a level head.

"We're doing everything in our power-"

"Got a call for a Colonel Roy Mustang?" the bartender said, holding up the phone on the wall.

"That's me." He said with a confused look. The bartender handed him the phone as he looked at Riza. "Colonel Mustang speaking."

"Colonel, we have some news about Edward." Jean said on the other line. Roy sat up straight. "I thought you'd want to discuss this in private."

"I'm on my way." He handed the phone back to the bartender and turned to Riza. "Havoc just said that he got some information on Edward. Let's go."

Riza nodded and they left.

* * *

When Roy got in, Jean stood up.

"You said you had some news?" Roy asked, trying not to sound desperate.

"Yes, that man that you sent the Elrics after has been found and brought into custody by the Amestris police. The chief called us to let us know they had him since he knew we had been trying to find him in regards to Edward. They said we could go down there and interrogate him about Ed's whereabouts."

Roy's eyes seemed to come alive with the thoughts of getting more information on his missing subordinate after so long in the dark.

"Hawkeye, you're with me."

"Of course, sir."

* * *

Roy entered the interrogation room with the man he had sent the Elrics to investigate, an alchemist by the name of Beje Copplestone. He had been accused of doing some unsavory acts with his alchemy and since he was also a soldier, the military was involved since he was not a registered State Alchemist. Because of that, he proved especially suspicious.

Beje looked at Roy and grinned at him.

"Well, if it isn't Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist himself. It's a pleasure and an honor."

"Save it, Copplestone. I want to know where Edward Elric is."

"Elric… Elric… Hmmm… Name doesn't ring any bells. What did he look like?"

Roy's patience was already thin and this guy tore right through it. Roy grabbed Beje by the collar and began to shake him.

"I don't have time for your bullshit, Copplestone! You _know_ who Edward Elric is and you know _where_ he is. Now tell me where to find him or I will send you to Hell already used to the flames."

Beje was undeterred and only laughed at Roy.

"He was right about you. He said you would blow a gasket on me…"

"So help me-"

"Cool your gloves, hot pants. I'll tell you the last place I saw him at."

"Last place you… What do you mean? Why don't _you_ have him?"

"I sold him."

"Sold… him…" Roy said, not believing the words. He shook Beje again. "You _sold him_?!"

"Of course, he was no longer useful to me."

An unusual calm suddenly settled over Roy and he let go of Beje's shirt, sitting back down across from him. He needed all the details in order to track Edward down and for some reason, whatever calmness had taken over, it allowed him to be given the details without a cloudy, angry mind.

"Tell me what happened and why you sold Edward Elric." He asked calmly.

Beje smiled brightly. "Wow! You're amazing! How did you just collect yourself like that?"

"Believe me, it's an act of God."

"Huh… Anyway, so I was doing some experimentation on that kid when some thieves broke into my lab. I'm a scientist as well, I hope you know." Roy just glared at him. "Anyway, he had just drank my newest alchemically altering serum when those thieves came in and they wanted me to hand over my research notes for their boss or something. When I refused to do so, they asked me if that kid was part of any of my experiments. I told them he was and so they knocked me out and took him. The last thing I remember from that night was them doing something to that suit of armor. The kid screamed bloody murder and I blacked out."

Roy sighed in relief and sadness. At least Edward knew of Alphonse's fate but it still didn't help on Edward's whereabouts.

"You said that you sold him. It sounds like someone took him."

"Ah, they did take him, but then, oddly enough, they brought him back. Said he wasn't worth the trouble they thought. They did, however, rob me of my notes. That being said, when they gave him back to me, he had been so traumatized by the demise of his brother that he wouldn't take anything from me. He refused to eat or drink and wouldn't even let me turn him back to normal."

"Back to normal? What do you mean?"

"I turned him into a little kid. About four or five years old?"

"For what purpose?" Roy growled, trying to contain his anger even more.

"Just to see if the experiment worked. You see, I had kidnapped the boys and then used the human one to just make sure my experiments worked. I was planning on letting them take me in but I just wanted to see if my hard work had paid off. Then, when I was testing the regression formula I made, that's when he got stolen. I tried to give him the reverse serum to change him back but he wouldn't take it and then at one point he knocked it out of my hand. Since my research was stolen, I couldn't make another batch and I can't do experiments on a little kid like that, so... I sold him. He was pretty useless to me… I sold him on the black market. He was sold for a pretty penny too since he has that strange hair and eyes and stuff."

"How long ago did you do that?"

"Pssht, hell if I know. Probably at the beginning of the year since that's when he got a hold of the telephone without my knowing and called you nice folks in. Luckily, those thieves came before you did!"

Roy's patience was thinning again.

"Do you know where they may have been heading?"

"Sorry, couldn't say. Once they paid me, the kid was no longer mine and was no longer any of my business."

Roy finally punched Beje in the face as hard as he could and then breathed in. He walked out of the interrogation room where Riza was waiting for him and looked at him expectantly.

"Well?"

"I need everyone to be on the lookout for Edward… but we need to make sure we are looking for the right one… It seems that Edward would look the age of a four or five year old boy now."

Riza gasped as Roy went to the chief of police.

"I need you to find all the files you can on any child slavery or anything of the sort."

"Child slavery, sir?" Riza asked, trying not to look as frightened as she felt.

"That bastard sold Edward on the black market and most likely he is either with a slave trader, a fight club, or a child labor camp. I need information now!"

The chief nodded as he directed his officers to look up any files they knew of and Roy breathed in with new vigor. _I'm coming for you, Edward… Don't give up yet._


	2. Chapter 2

Another few months of searching all over Amestris when by for some sort of sign of Edward's whereabouts and they were still not successful. Roy was really starting to doubt himself as an officer. The guilt was taking over him every day and Edward was still out there all alone, not even in his own body. He probably wasn't even in his right _mind_. Riza was so worried about Roy that she asked Maes to help her figure out a way to keep Roy from obsessing over the issue.

* * *

"You know how Roy is, Hawkeye. Ed is one of his and he's very possessive over his things. Not knowing is the worst part about everything."

"I know that but…"

Maes understood that it was hard for Riza to see her superior going past the point of loyalty and into obsession. He was determined and obsessed. He wouldn't rest until Edward's true whereabouts were found or a body was found.

They were just about to cross the street when a hay truck stopped in their path. Maes had pulled Riza back just in time before she had gotten ran over by it by being so lost in thought. Riza was still lost in thought as she looked over at the loose hay that was in the back of the truck when she thought she saw a little face peeking out of the hay. She shook her head and blinked a little and looked back at it. She was definite now. There _was_ a face in the hay and it was staring straight at her.

"Hughes, that hay truck is hauling people underneath that hay!" she yelled, running after the truck when it began to take off.

Maes was right behind her, mostly running after her than the truck as Riza ran after it. As she got slightly closer to it, the face moved to show a head and shoulders and an arm that was reaching out of the back towards her.

It was Edward.

"Edward?! EDWARD!" Riza screamed, racing after the truck and holding out her hands as far as they would go.

Edward didn't yell back at her but she could tell he was trying to reach as much as he could as well. The truck was speeding up as it left the traffic of the city but it didn't stop Riza from chasing it as quickly as she could. At one point it stopped at a stop sign and Riza thought she could make it, that she was almost there, but it took off too quickly and left her choking on the fumes.

Coughing, Riza fell to her knees in horror as she watched the truck zoom away and another large hand grabbed Edward's face, pulling him back into the hay. Maes finally caught up with her, breathing heavily as he leaned on his knees.

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

"That was Edward… I know it was him. He was in the back of that truck…"

Maes looked at her in worry and picked her up from the street.

"Hawkeye, it was just a hay truck. There was nothing in it. You're delusional. Have you slept any?"

Riza looked at Maes as he stared at her and she shook her head.

"If Roy doesn't sleep then neither can I. I have to protect him."

"No… you don't… Riza, look at me." She did and Maes hugged her tight. "You need rest just like your superior does. I'm taking you home and then I'm going to go and yell at him for being so hard on you."

Riza left with him but looked back at the road leading out of the city. She knew what she saw… she just _knew_ it.

* * *

"Roy, you have to let this go. It's been a year and three months. Now that Riza told you about the hay incident, you've got the police force checking out every hay truck that leaves the city and still no one has seen any people –children or otherwise- being smuggled away. You caused your subordinate to get inadequate hours of sleep and she hallucinated seeing Edward in the hay. Do you hear me, Roy? _Hallucinated_. There's no truth in it. _Let it go_."

Roy glared angrily at his friend.

"If this were your little Elysia, would _you_ let it go?" he snarled at him.

Maes knew that Roy would use that as a turnaround as soon as the words had left his mouth but he also knew what he was going to say in response to it.

"In my heart, no, I would never let it go. But after all of my fruitless efforts and empty investigations, yes, I would finally give up. You're not getting anywhere, Roy; that's the problem. Granted, when we found Copplestone, we got a good tidbit from him that we hadn't been able to get but so far we have yet to find an active child slavery ring or anything else."

"It's because we need to go undercover in the shady parts of the city. You can't catch an illegal secret if you're the law. If we go undercover-"

"Are you _listening_ to yourself? Go undercover? What the hell will that do? We have no leads on who could send us to where we need to go and even if we did, when Edward's not there, then what? Try to find another? You can't do that, Roy! I just sent Riza home and now I'm going to tell you the same thing: go home. Get some sleep."

"I'm fine."

"You look like you lost a bet in your undercover scheme that isn't going to happen. You look like hell. You started not sleeping well when we finally found Alphonse… Speaking of which… Wait, is _that_ why you don't go home?" Roy didn't say anything as Maes' eyes grew wider. "You… you have Alphonse's armor in your house, don't you?"

Roy was still silent as he laced his fingers in front of him.

Maes slammed his hands on the desk, standing up as his anger reached an all time high that Roy had never seen it.

"You mean to tell me that you brought his _body_ to your _house_?! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!" he screamed.

Roy was calm and only blinked at his friend.

"Edward should say goodbye."

The answer was so simple and innocent that Maes sat back down in total disbelief. Roy was so calm about it, not seeing how odd it was. Even though it wasn't a real 'body', the armor was a semblance of what was supposed to be one.

"Oh Roy… Roy, Roy, Roy…" he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I'm not crazy." Roy said, knowing that was what Maes was thinking.

Maes quickly looked up and Roy locked eyes with him, wanting him to see that he was perfectly sane.

"The last thing Edward saw was his little brother brutally "murdered" by bandits. They scratched the blood seal away as Edward had to listen to Alphonse's terror filled screams. Do you not think he would like to say goodbye? Say he's sorry? All the things that Fullmetal would usually do? It's no different than a mausoleum or a picture. It's unorthodox and a bit macabre, but Edward would _want_ to see that armor. And if we find out that… that Edward is also dead, would it not be honorable to bury the brothers together? Am I wrong, Hughes?"

Maes took off his glasses and pinched his nose. Roy was right but it was still very wrong.

"I see your point, I really do, but you it's still wrong."

"I don't go there because the next time I see that armor, I want to have an answer for it."

Maes nodded. "You still need to sleep. Come to my house, we have an extra bedroom. If you don't get any sleep then you will only make the investigation harder by messing things up. _Please_ , as your friend, listen to me."

Roy nodded and decided that he would spend the night at Maes' home.

* * *

Maes, as usual, was correct and after a couple of nights actually sleeping, Roy was much more focused and alert. As the clouds of sleep lifted away, so did silly theories. Roy still didn't dismiss Riza's testimony of seeing Edward in the back of a hay truck because that is a definitely possibility of smuggling. They probably stopped doing it because of the spectacle that Riza made of it by chasing the truck down.

As Roy pondered some more theories while he tried to go to sleep, he played with Edward's pocket watch in his hand. He was letting it dangle in front of him and swinging it a little, letting it twist and turn and go like a pendulum. He knew that Edward was out there.

"Where are you?" he asked the watch.

Then he frowned at it for a second, grabbing it, and trying to pry it open. Roy had done it before but every time he closed the watch back, the alchemy Edward had used to seal it seemed to come back into play. Roy suspected there was a tiny transmutation circle somewhere to make it do that. He had to have been missing something because the watch was important to Edward. He would have just left that behind without a clue.

But Roy had opened it before and there had been nothing in it but a date because he had the same theory back in the beginning. He finally got the watch open and looked at it carefully, scrutinizing it. The room was silent as he tried to figure out what to do. _Silent?_ he said in his head when he looked at the hands of the watch. They were not moving. He smiled a little and found a way to undo the facing of the watch. When he finally got it open, he pulled the facing off and found a small note in the gears.

With trembling hands he picked the note out and unfolded it.

_Yellow skin_

_Black coins_

_Red women_

_Gold features_

_Copper stone_

_Brown grains_

Roy turned his head at the note but he got up quickly.

* * *

Roy shook Hughes awake with a lot of force, making Maes wake up crankily.

"Roy? What are you doing?! You should be asleep!" he hissed.

"I found something. You have to see this."

Maes groaned but grabbed his glasses and got out of bed. He just didn't want Roy to wake up Gracia. As he got to the living room, he yawned and sat next to Roy. Roy put the paper on the table.

"This was behind the facing of Edward's watch."

"You didn't think to do that a year ago?" Maes asked, crossing his arms.

"I had opened it but I was so caught up in finding Edward that I didn't think _about_ Edward."

"What do you mean? You're talking in riddles."

"Fullmetal, even on the verge of an emotional breakdown, could still miraculously do the impossible. Think about it: in the midst of transmuting his mother, he lost his leg and his brother. But, through all the pain and agony, he had the mind to think of putting a blood seal on a suit of armor and pulled his brother's soul back to him. That's not normal. Now, wich that being said, Edward –even in the midst of whatever may have come to him- would have had the soundness of mind to leave us a clue. The clue was in this watch. But why?"

"Because he gave us a blood seal."

Roy hit the paper.

"The blood seal."

Maes picked up the paper and looked over it.

"It has to be a code. Don't alchemists write in code?"

" _Exactly_! We just have to find out what they mean and he will tell us where he is. Right? Please tell me it's a start, Hughes. _Please_ tell me that if we did a little more digging that we could find him once and for all."

Maes looked at the list. He knew a code when he saw one but the hardest part about codes is cracking them. This one didn't look that complicated.

"Yes, Roy, this definitely could lead us somewhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) was what riza saw a hallucination or real?
> 
> 2) what do you guys think the note means?


	3. Chapter 3

"I got one answer already. This one, 'copper stones'. That is definitely Copplestone." Havoc said, pointing at the words.

"But we already talked to him and he was not helpful. Anyone else?" Roy asked.

"'Gold features'. Maybe it's referring to Ed. His hair and eyes are gold." Breda said.

"Well of course it's referring to him. That's why he left the note." Roy growled.

Breda made a face. "I meant that it was referring to his features being unique. Not many people have them."

"Gold as in precious metal, but also his hair and eye colors, so a feature, right?" Riza said.

"Yes, that's what I meant. Didn't you say that Copplestone sold Edward for a pretty penny due to his unique hair and eyes?"

Roy snapped his fingers. "'Black coins' = black market! So Copplestone really did sell him on the black market… But how would he have known that since we found the watch before he was sold?"

"Maybe Copplestone lied." Everyone looked at Maes as he adjusted his glasses. "After all, he kidnapped an officer of the army and his brother and did illegal experiments on him, then sold him on the black market. What makes you think that he would tell you the truth?"

Roy's eyes widened and he stood up, grabbing his coat.

"Hawkeye! Hughes!" he yelled.

"Yes, sir!"

"Havoc, Breda, Fuery, you keep trying to decipher the rest."

"Yes sir!"

Roy sat in the interrogation room waiting for Beje to be brought in when the door opened. Upon seeing Roy, Beje grinned big and was slammed into the seat across from Roy.

"Roy-boy! You came the visit!"

Roy kicked the chair from underneath Beje, making him whack his chin on the table as he fell. Roy got up and grabbed the seat, pulling Beje up by the hair.

"No one calls me Roy-boy. Got it?"

"Loud and clear buddy."

Roy sat him back in the chair as Beje pushed his red hair out of his face.

"Well, there has to be a nickname I can give you. Colonel is so uppity and Mustang is too condescending. Musty just sounds… dumb and just plain Roy is way too informal."

Roy eyed him and he stopped talking. He seemed to get serious and sat up straight.

"You wanted something from me?" Beje asked.

"The truth about Edward Elric. You said he was stolen and then was sold. That can't be true because we found a clue in the fog watch we found and he tells us in code that you were already planning to sell him on the black market. Tell me the real story, Copplestone."

Beje sighed and leaned forward.

"When I said I didn't know where they were going, that was true. I've worked with the black market guys before and when they saw your boy, they wanted him. I told them he was my personal experiment and they couldn't have him. I really had just used my regression formula on him and had just been ready to turn him back when they came. They snatched him up and began to destroy my serums. Then the armor kid got up and went after his brother. He was able to get the kid away when one of the men got on top of the armor and pulled off his helmet. They must have had some deep knowledge of alchemy because as soon as they saw the blood seal in the armor, they immediately knew what it was and began to scrape it away.

"That part was a little strange… how well they knew alchemy… When they finally scraped that poor kid out of existence and he was finally dead, they said they would pay a pretty penny for the kid. There was nothing else that I could do and I realized that they were going to use his body –in more ways than one. So… I acted quickly."

"The way that this story is unfolding sounds like you're saying that you're the hero in this."

Beje turned his head a little.

"Well, wouldn't that be the irony on the cake? I sell black market items but I do not sell children."

"Then why did you say that you did the first time?"

"Would you have believed me if I had said otherwise?" Roy didn't say anything. "Yeah, didn't think so."

"Back to your story?"

"Anyway, I don't deal with child slavery but they were either going to take him in whole or in pieces. They'd already broken his mind to pieces… I convinced them to let me freshen him up a little before they took him. They agreed and I took him back into the house. I thought for sure that he would be grieving, completely shaken, but he wasn't anything near grieving. He was irate; there was an anger in his eyes that was something even the devil would run away from. I told him that I was sorry about what I would have to do. He punched me in the face and then with angry tears in his eyes, he asked to call you. He said that he believed me when I explained that I wouldn't hurt him or his brother so long as he tested my experiments out for me when they first came to get me.

"So, he called you and then I snipped the line so that you would know things were bad. He said that he would leave clues for you to find him. When the men paid me, I followed after the truck that he was taken in when he threw his watch out the back of the truck. I remember it being the State Alchemist watch, which is important to you guys, so I figured he must have done something to it for you guys. So, I left my lab in the state that it was in, threw the watch in there, and carefully pulled that poor suit of armor into the house and ran. You've just been too stupid to figure it out until now and so he's been suffering god knows what because you're too slow."

Roy was about to unleash his own fury on Beje but Maes came in and grabbed him. He pulled him out of the room and slammed him down into a chair.

"Damn it, Roy, hold your temper!"

"Did you not just hear that?!"

"I was on the other side of the glass, Roy, of course I did. But the man wasn't lying. I saw it in his face, Roy. He was telling the truth."

"How can you know?"

"I'm in investigations, so I investigate. As soon as I heard you guys had someone, I looked into Copplestone's files. Sergeant Beje Copplestone is from Youswell."

"Youswell?"

"Yes. He is completely against anything that has to do with putting children at risk in regards to public relations. He was there when Yoki was assigned over Youswell and he was there when Edward turned the town back over to the people by buying it and then selling it. He had been in many riots and backings against Yoki to stop the children from having to work in order to pay off their fathers' debts. When we looked into Yoki's files, we found out that he also turned a blind eye to some black market activity involving children. There is truth in what he's saying, if only for the child part alone."

Roy thought about it for a moment.

"Well, he did say in his first story that he couldn't do experimentation on a child… maybe that was more than what he had meant it to mean… I still can't believe him."

"He sold stuff on the black market but it had to do with ammunition, serums he had made, things like that. Never people. Roy, he's telling the truth this time."

Roy sighed, running this fingers through his hair and gathered his anger up to face Beje again. He straightened his jacket and went back into the room.

"Copplestone."

"Yes?"

"You said that you didn't know where they were going but I'm assuming you know what they were going to do, right?"

Beje looked down. "Yeah."

"And?"

Beje motioned for him to come to him and whispered in Roy's ear. Roy closed his eyes as Beje gave him a sad shrug. Roy suddenly smacked him hard and left the room.

"Well?" Maes asked, having not gone behind the two way glass the second time.

"We need to decrypt the rest of that code now. He was right. I've been too slow. We have to save Edward now."

"Roy." He didn't stop as Maes ran after him. "ROY! What did he say to you?!"

"Colonel!" Riza yelled, running after him as well. "Sir, what did h whisper into your ear?!"

Roy clenched his fists and turned back to his comrades, trying not to cry.

"Red women… red women = red light district."

Maes and Riza gasped as Roy turned back around.

"We have to decode the rest of that note. We're already too late. Let's not delay this any longer."


	4. Chapter 4

A weeks days after Roy had visited Beje Copplestone again, he was still trying to decrypt the code on the sheet of paper that Edward had left them. They had gotten everything except for the first thing and the last thing. He had a small suspicion about them but he wasn't really sure.

"Sir?" Roy looked up as Riza looked at him. "Sir, we have some news."

"News? About Edward?"

"Yes. I know you didn't ask for me to do it but… after I thought I saw Edward, I had someone go in the same direction and ask around. After some hunting, they were able to get me some evidence. They um… they even have a picture but I warn you sir, it's not pretty."

"Is he _alive_?"

"Yes."

"Then it's worth everything."

Riza sighed and handed the envelope to him. There was a report but that's not what Roy was looking at with such intensity. It was the photo attached to it by paper clip. It _was_ Edward but it was true what Beje had said about him being a child. He looked four or five and looked like he had been through hell and back. Even when Roy saw him after he had transmuted his mother and was sitting almost lifeless in that wheelchair in Resembool, he had looked livelier than this. In the picture he was bending down to get something, it looked like, and his little arm was just as skinny as could be.

"Sir, I regret to inform you that it's raining."

Roy looked up and then looked outside, seeing a sunny day. He turned back when he realized she was talking about him. He felt the tears falling down his face and he wiped them away as quickly as possible.

"I'm sorry."

"You haven't slept in two days, sir." She said.

He nodded and decided to move on to the next picture and saw a couple of other sad sights when he came across on that was odd.

"What's this picture of numbers here?"

"He said it was kind of odd and he thought it might help find Edward."

Roy stared at the picture for a second looking at the numbers.

_15-57-53-34_

_2-3-15_

_88-8-39_

"There is another picture as well that he said seemed like maybe a clue? He wasn't really sure."

Roy went to the next picture and saw what looked like a dot and an odd rectangular shape. Roy made a face at it and turned it around some. It was definitely a clue but with his clouded mind and judgment, he couldn't figure out what it was for the life of him.

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Hughes told me that you… Well, what you did, and I was going to say that you're more than welcome to stay at my house to get some sleep. You need it, Colonel. I know this is as important to you as anything but if you don't get sleep you could put yourself in the hospital."

Roy nodded and put the information back into the envelope.

"I'll take you up on that offer, Hawkeye."

"You sure?"

"The last time I went to sleep, I figured out the watch."

"Well, here's my keys. Just, if you could, walk Black Hayate for me."

"Sure."

He left with the envelope and headed to her apartment.

* * *

Riza came home and found Roy sleeping awkwardly on her couch, Black Hayate curled up next to it. Seeing it was Riza, Black Hayate got up and padded over to her, sitting and waiting for her to pet him. She did so and went to her room to take off her uniform. She slipped into something comfortable and went back to the living room. She shook Roy's shoulder to wake him up.

"Colonel, wake up."

He mumbled something but woke up and saw Riza over him.

"Oh, Hawkeye…"

"Did you want something to eat, sir? I had made soup last night so I have leftovers."

"That'll be fine, I'm not picky." He sat up and stretched, yawning as well. "Was everything alright at the office?"

"Yes sir, nothing much happened. Did you get any headway or did you automatically fall asleep?"

"I fell asleep." He said, a little angry at himself. "But I was thinking of trying to work on it now. I'm curious about those two pictures, the ones with the numbers and the drawings. I believe they go together but how…"

"True. Did you read the report?" she asked, walking to the doorway.

"No, I didn't get to. I was thinking tomorrow that we could go to wherever your source took these pictures. I'm assuming that whoever took Fullmetal is long gone."

"Yes, sir. That was a couple of weeks ago I believe."

"All we do is keep getting further and further away, dammit. I want him _home_ , Hawkeye."

"I understand your concern but rushing into something or using all of our resources won't help." She went back to stir the soup a little and then came back. "Read the report and see what was found out and then we can go from there. Like you said, tomorrow we can go to where he took those pictures and see what we can find. There might be another clue in there in regards to where exactly those people were taking Edward."

Riza went back to the kitchen as Roy did what she said and started reading the report. It wasn't a very long report but when he saw the place he had taken the pictures at, Roy's eyes widened.

"What is it, Colonel?" Riza asked as she set down a bowl of soup for him.

"He was in Resembool. He was so close to home and yet… and yet he could do nothing about it…"

"Don't blame yourself, Colonel."

"I _do_ blame myself! It's just like Copplestone said, I'm too slow. That kid has had to suffer for a year now and I've done nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"You've done all you *can* and that's all you can do. If you don't have the clues then you don't have them."

"But I _did_! I was too wrapped up in other things that I didn't see what was right in front of me. If I had been thinking correctly and remembered the way that Fullmetal was, then I would have found the paper earlier. He could have been here with us right now probably."

"You're being too hard on yourself. It took a while for us to even know what was going on and even then, we didn't have much to go off of. Everyone was in a panic, including yourself."

Roy sighed as he ate some of his soup. He looked over the report again and picked up the envelope when he felt something rattle in the envelope. He opened it up and found that one of the pictures must have come out of the clip. He pulled it out and stopped.

"What is it?"

"It's Edward but… he's looking right at the person who took the pictures."

"What do you mean? Roger was undercover."

"Look."

Roy handed the picture to Riza and she frowned.

"So… he knew he was there… Why didn't he try to get Roger to rescue him then? Buy him or something? That doesn't seem like Edward."

"I have a feeling that his predicament was restricted. Edward wouldn't make a rash decision but he _knew_ that your guy, Roger, was there and he knew that he was investigating. Hawkeye, he was looking straight at him!" Roy growled, hitting the picture with his hand.

"I can see that sir… I'll go find Roger tomorrow and ask him to tell us some more details."

"I'll also show these pictures to Hughes and see if he can maybe help me figure this out." Roy stuck everything back into the envelope. "For now let's just… hope…"

Riza put her hand on her superior's back and rubbed it in comfort.

"We'll get him back."

He nodded and they ate.

* * *

The next day, Roy took the report and photos to Hughes and showed him the two important ones.

"From what I see here, it looks like these drawings are supposed to be the clue to what these numbers mean."

Maes looked at the pictures for a moment and adjusted his glasses. He pointed to the drawings.

"Do you know anything that is that shape?"

"Not off the top of my head. Do you mind if I leave this with you? I have to go talk with the person to who took these photos to get some more information on it."

"He has a report right here."

Roy took the other photos and then showed him the one of Edward looking straight at Roger's camera.

"Edward knew he was there and yet didn't do anything. There is nothing in the report that mentions Edward seeing Roger. I need to know what he saw."

"Sure thing. If I find something I'll give you a call."

Roy nodded, sticking the photo in his jacket, and headed back to his office so he could get Riza and go find this Roger fellow who followed Edward out.

Riza met Roy at the door and they went down a couple of doors to another office. The officers looked up and she looked at a blonde headed man who looked about the same age as Riza and Roy.

"Huckaby, I need to speak with you." Roy said.

Roger looked bewildered but got up and followed the two out of the room.

* * *

"My subordinate says that she had you follow a suspected hay truck that may have been holding the State Alchemist Edward Elric."

"Yes, sir, I did a report for you."

"I read your report, Officer, but there's one thing that I saw that was not mentioned in the report."

"There was?"

Roy took the picture out and showed Roger.

"Edward Elric was looking right at you in this photo. He knew you were there, didn't he?"

Roger looked around for a second and then motioned for them to lean in.

"Yeah, he knew. Right after I took this picture, I happened to look up and he was staring straight at my hiding spot like he knew I was there. I stared right back at him too. It was odd though because it looked like he was trying to figure out what to do. I motioned for him to come closer so I could maybe get him but when I did, he looked at the men who had had him and shook his head no. I knew who he was so I wondered why he didn't use alchemy to try and escape. At the moment, one of the men cracked a whip and I saw him flinch. He went back to doing his work.

"That night, I crept a little closer, hoping to talk to him. I was going to get him out of there and bring him back but he met me at the door of the barn he was sleeping in."

"A barn?" Roy growled.

"Yeah, that's where the men were keeping them. Just like Lieutenant Hawkeye said, under the hay. They needed to be able to load them up quickly the next day but they didn't have a vehicle that wasn't so suspicious as a van and so they had decided a while back to use the hay trucks. Anyway, he met me at the door and stared at me but he looked… he looked drugged. It was as if he didn't know where he was. I went to touch him but he flinched from me and then sounded the alarm! I was so surprised that it took all I could do to get out of there without them seeing me.

"The next day when I went to do some more research, they were gone."

"Do you at least know where they were headed?"

"Yeah, the tracks lead east."

"East?"

"Yes, sir."

"Why didn't you put this in your report?"

Roger motioned them closer.

"The fact that he alarmed the men made me believe that he was brainwashed but if I had put it in the report, the others may think otherwise. If I had done it, they may think the investigation is a moot point and not want to rescue him anymore since he didn't try to come with me. I didn't want them to stop."

Roy pulled back and smiled a little.

"Thank you for that shrewd reasoning, Officer Huckaby. You're right in that aspect and I appreciate your candor."

"Of course, sir. I felt really bad about it though… I wish I could have just gone in and grabbed him up and brought him home. You got the pictures of the numbers and drawings, right?"

"Yes, I did."

"Good because I saw him make those. He must have been in a better state of mind when he did because he was doing it quickly. I took those pictures after they left."

"I see. Thank you, Officer Huckaby."

Roger saluted and went back to his desk.

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to punch a hole in the wall.

"Now he's been brainwashed. Wonderful."

"At least we know that though. It makes better sense for him not trying to escape himself."

"True. I'll make arrangements for us to head to Resembool and check out that barn he was talking about."

"Yes, sir."

They went back to Roy's office.

* * *

A little later in the day, Roy got a phone call and picked up the receiver.

"Colonel Mustang."

"Hey, it's me."

"Did you find anything?"

"I couldn't figure it out so I decided to ask Sheska if she had seen the shape before. She said she had and looked through a couple of books for me. She just called me and guess where that shape is from?"

"What?"

"The periodic table of elements."

Roy stood up quickly.

"I'll be down there in a minute."

"No need. I already looked them up for you. I don't have the table with me right now since I'm working but an alchemist I work with down here happened to know the matching numbers. It makes no sense to me but maybe you can decipher something. Do you want me to give it to you?"

"Yes!" he said, sitting down and finding a blank sheet of paper. "I'm ready."

"Okay: 15 = phosphorus, 57 = lanthanium, 53 = iodine and 34 is selenium. The second set of numbers is: 2 = helium, 3 = lithium, and then 15 again. The third group is: 88 = radium, 8 = oxygen, and 39 is yttrium. Did you get all that?"

"Yeah, I got it. I'll see if I can make something of that."

"Sure thing. Oh, are you heading to Resembool tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Mind if I tag along?"

"I'll see if I can have you accompany me."

"Thanks. Ed means a lot to me too."

"I know. Thank you, Hughes."

"No problem."

Roy immediately started to work on trying to figure out what Edward was talking about. He opened the door and pointed at Jean.

"Havoc, please get me a chemistry book from the library."

"Sure thing, but why?"

"I need it, that's why."

Havoc saluted as everyone looked at him expectantly.

"Did you figure something else out?" Breda asked.

"Hughes found out what the numbers meant. He said Sheska told him it's from the periodic table. The numbers are the elements on there but Edward drew the actual table for a reason… Phosphorus, lanthanium, iodine, and selenium… I don't know of anything that can make…"

Roy walked back into his office and started staring at the chemicals.

"Hmm… P for phosphorus… I for iodine… P for phosphorus again… O for oxygen... He for helium… I can't remember the rest of them."

"Here's a book, sir." Havoc said, putting the book on Roy's desk.

"Thanks."

Roy opened it up to the very front where the periodic table was usually found. He wrote the rest of the abbreviations down and then made a face.

"RaOY… Ra-oy? Roy? ROY?!" he yelled, looking at the word again. "That definitely says Roy. Then wait…"

He put the abbreviations together for the chemicals and his heart stopped. He knew now that nothing was going to stop him from finding Edward.

**PLaISe HeLiP RaOY**

"Please help, Roy." He said, swallowing hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> although technically in this time period the periodic table wasn't made yet, it is needed for the story so i will take that liberty.


	5. Chapter 5

As the train pulled into the station of Resembool, Roy, Riza, and Maes all got off and headed into town. They got the directions to the barn from Roger and headed there to see if they could find some more clues. It took them a while but they finally got to the barn and looked inside. Maes found the place where Edward had carved into the wall and Roy touched it, tracing over the numbers. They all looked around to see if Edward left anymore clues but it seemed that they were out of luck. Roy decided that they should go down the path going East and see if anyone remembered a hay truck heading in that direction.

They met up with a couple of ditch diggers and they mentioned that there was an unusual amount of hay trucks heading East some time ago. They kept going down the way, hearing of sightings of the hay trucks but nothing unusual about them except for the amount of them. They finally got to an inn and Roy went inside to ask the owner about the hay trucks and he seemed to have a little more information.

* * *

"Yeah, I remember them hay trucks. Awful lot of them too, about three or four. Usually that wouldn't be unusual but the thing of it was that they were all together. There may be three or four of them that come by in a day but they're all separate, not in a line like that. It was none of my business so I didn't ask but it was awful suspicious."

"We have reason to believe that they were actually human trafficking with the hay trucks." Maes said, adjusting his glasses. "They were putting the people under the hay and transporting them. Do you know what direction they were going in?"

"Human trafficking?! I can't believe it…"

"Did they mention where they were going or what they were doing?" Roy asked, getting a little irritated.

"I wasn't really paying attention but the bartender may know something or other. He was serving them lots of beer that night. Maybe one of them talked about where he was going."

Maes thanked him and they all went over to the barkeep.

"What'll you have, Officers?" the man asked, looking at them expectantly.

"Nothing except a chat." Maes said with a smile. "We were wondering if you remember some men a couple of weeks back that were driving a line of hay trucks."

"Hmm… Hay trucks… I don't recall. Why would the military be looking for some hay truck deliverers?"

"Because one of my subordinates has been kidnapped-" Roy started angrily but Riza put her hand on his shoulder.

The barkeep looked at the three of them and made a face.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"We have reason to believe that these men were not delivering hay but hiding people under it to do human trafficking. We thought you might be able to tell us where these people were headed. They have one of our men."

The man seemed to think for a second and then hit the counter.

"I remember those guys. They were really sleazy but they seemed pretty smart. They said that they were delivering a pretty good batch to some guys at the border."

"The border?!" Roy yelled, getting out of Riza's hand and leaning on to the bar. "What do you mean, the border? To Amestris?"

"Yeah. They said they had some nice coin waiting for them there. If what you say is true, then it looks like they were doing some trades. There's a town that is the visa checkpoint for anyone coming in or out of Amestris and on over to cross the desert into Xing. If I were you, I'd start there."

Roy tore out of the inn quicker than Maes or Riza could keep up with and they ran after him.

"Roy! Roy, wait up!"

"You heard him, we have to get to the checkpoint."

"We can do that tomorrow. Look, we've been traversing the countryside all day. We need to take a rest. We'll head there immediately tomorrow and ask them questions. Remember, we have to sleep."

"Every time we sleep, Edward is getting farther and farther away. If he really is in Xing then maybe not physically, but whatever they have him doing, he could be _mentally_ getting farther away from us."

"And we know that. But we have to be mentally prepared ourselves for when we find him. How are we supposed to do anything with him if we go into hysterics the first time we see him? You *have* to keep yourself alert."

Roy wanted nothing more than to strangle his friend but he knew he was right. He was ready to get Edward back home and he wanted to do it now. They were so close and yet they seemed to keep getting so far away. But, he nodded and Maes decided they should stay in the inn they were at for convenience.

* * *

The next morning, they drove all the way to the checkpoint, taking up most of their day. When they got there, they went to the office and Roy banged on the little window. The blinds opened and he held up his State Alchemist watch.

"Colonel Mustang here, I need to ask you some questions."

The man opened up the little door that was beside him and leaned out.

"What are you blabbering about?"

"I need to know if a small caravan of hay trucks tried to get past the checkpoint some time ago."

"Hay trucks? We don't deliver hay."

"What about children?" Riza asked, staring the man in the face. "Do you deliver them?"

The man looked hard at her.

"Lady, I run a respectable checkpoint between Amestris and those who are going to and from Xing. I don't do anything in regards to human trafficking or the like. So if you don't mind, I have some work to-" The barrel in his face made him stop short as Roy pointed his gun at him.

"You may run a respectable place but I'm sure your loaders or other tellers wouldn't be so meek enough _not_ to take a bribe from someone to look the other way while they sell children or women, would they?"

"I- I don't know."

"You see, I've been pissed off for a very long time and someone has taken something of mine. I don't appreciate being fucked around with. So, I will ask you again, did you see any hay trucks come through here some time ago?"

Maes sighed but the man was so frightened that he gulped and nodded.

"Y-yes… There were some hay trucks here."

"Did they actually sell the hay that was on them?"

"Now that you mention it, the trucks left with the hay still on them. I didn't really make any mention of it because I was busy dealing with an irate Xingese woman because her visa was forged."

"Where did they stop? Point it out to me." Roy growled, putting his arm around the man's neck with the gun still pointed to it. "Give us a _really_ good estimate."

"Roy-"

"I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND ANYMORE, HUGHES!" he screamed, looking at Maes with a look that could have scared the Devil. "I've been too slow and he's been suffering because of me. I want him home! I want him to *come home*! I'm not screwing around with petty talks and clues anymore. I want answers _now_."

The man in Roy's neck hold was crying because he thought for sure Roy would forget the gun in his hand and shoot him in the head.

Maes nodded a little. "I understand but if you threaten the citizens then the military could kick you out on suspension. Just try not to shoot the man."

"If he tells me where the trucks stopped then there won't be any need of him anymore. No need to shoot what I don't need. Or I could set you ablaze? You want that instead?" Roy asked the man. He shook his head hysterically and Roy smiled. "Then be a good boy and show me where the trucks were parked. Don't be shy."

"Along there." He man said, pointing a shaking hand at a large space. "They were parked there."

"Thank you, kind sir…"

Roy put his gun up and headed over to the spot where the man had pointed.

Riza looked at Maes with concern and they followed their superior over.

"Colonel, don't you think that was a little rough?" Riza asked.

"No."

They walked over to a man who seemed to be directing some people and Roy put his hand on his shoulder.

"Excuse me, I have a question."

"Not now-"

" _Excuse me, I have a question._ " Roy asked again with an evil smile and a grip so hard on the man's shoulder that he was in physical pain.

"Yes, of course." The man gasped.

"Did you see this little boy pass through here some time ago?" he asked, taking out the picture of Edward he had.

The man looked at it for a second and nodded.

"Yeah, I saw him. His hair is what caught my eye."

Roy let go of his shoulder. "Do you know where he was taken?"

"The last I saw of him, he was taken in the restrooms over there. Then I never saw him."

"Do you turn a blind eye to human trafficking?" Maes asked, lifting an eyebrow.

The man seemed ashamed and turned away.

"I've tried to stop it before but it doesn't do any good. I don't get any gain out of it and no one believes you if the traffickers are slick. I've seen this group before and they're so good that even the authorities can't catch them in the act."

"You don't even try to help them?" Riza asked.

"I've tried it before and all anyone does is stare at you funny or if there are a lot of Xingese here, cause a panic. No one tries to do anything about it. But I did see this boy here and the restrooms were the last I saw of him."

"Thank you. You've been the most help we've had." Roy said.

He went to the bathrooms with Riza going into the women's just in case. Roy knew that he wouldn't be there but maybe Edward left a clue. Roy looked in the two stalls that were there but saw nothing and then the urinal section but nothing there either.

"Sir, I found something!" Riza yelled from the other side of the wall.

Roy left the men's bathroom and went into the women's, scaring about two of them as they ran out. Riza was holding open a door and pointed at it. Roy looked in but made a face.

"What about it?"

"There are golden hairs on the floor. As if someone cut someone's hair."

Roy looked down and sure enough, yellower than usual hair was scattered about the commode. Roy looked around for a second and then moved the back of the toilet off, finding the braid that always accompanied his subordinate.

"I know what they did… They cut his hair and then most likely put a hat on him so that he wouldn't be recognized." He looked around for a second and shuddered. "These bathrooms are disgusting. It's been some time since Edward was here and yet the hairs are still here?"

Riza nodded and turned around to see numbers in the mirror. She turned to see where they were coming from but they weren't etched anywhere. She blinked a little and then pulled on Roy's sleeve.

"Colonel, in the mirror."

Roy looked over and saw the numbers in the mirror. He took out his pen that he purposefully brought with him and pulled out from folded sheets of paper as well.

"53, 95, 49, 16-2-49-31… Give me a minute and let me write this down."

He jotted down the numbers and then went out of the bathroom, going to a bench. Maes joined the two as Roy took out another paper and Riza saw he had torn the periodic table out of the book Havoc had brought for him.

"Although I know my periodic table, I'm not too familiar with the abbreviations as I should be… Let's see… 53 = iodine, 95 = americium, 49 = indium, 16 = sulfur, 2 = helium, 49 = indium again, and 31 = gallium. If I get all of their abbreviations I get… **I Am In SHeInGa**."

"I am in Sheinga?"

"Xing. He's in Xing." Roy said, sighing a little. "Damn it, we're too late. He's across the friggin desert!"

"Wait a minute." Riza said, getting up and heading back to the bathroom. She came back a little later. "I thought I remembered seeing some other faint numbers. Behind the last set there is another set. The numbers are 54-68-54-16."

Roy quickly jotted it down and then began to look at the table.

"54 = xenon, 68 = erbium, and 16 = sulfur. **XeErXeS**. He was in Xerxes…"

"That's at least a start. Maybe there is something there he left." Riza said.

"My question is, if this Roger guy said that he was brainwashed then how was Edward able to do these encrypted codes?"

"Even though Edward was brainwashed, that child's mind is something else. I have a feeling he had fits of sanity and did this during that time. Whether or not he still has it is the main thing."

* * *

Per Edward's direction, the next morning they got some horses and headed out to the Xerxes ruins. When they got there, the three of them could see where people had camped out there but there was no sign of Edward or anyone.

"Roy! I found some more numbers here!" Maes called out.

Roy ran over with Riza and they all looked at the numbers that were carved into the ground.

"Call them out, Hughes." Roy said.

"53, 57-76-52, 9-85-1, 49, 39-8-92."

Roy frantically wrote them down and then looked over the table and rewrote the abbreviations for what was written. When he was done, Maes and Riza noticed that Roy began to shake.

"Roy?"

"What's wrong, Colonel?"

He handed the paper to them and Maes turned his head a little.

"I must not be thinking clearly. This can't say what I think it does."

" **I LaOsTe FAtH In YOU** … 'I lost faith in you'… He thinks I'm not coming." Roy leaned back on his legs, swallowing hard. "He… he gave up…"

"Roy, that doesn't really mean-"

"He lost faith in me, Maes! It says it right there! He thinks I'm not coming to save him. Copplestone was right! I was too slow. I was so slow that Edward thinks he's doomed to be out there. He's doomed and abandoned and left behind! He gave up… He…"

Roy finally sobbed in his hands, knowing he had failed Edward with his own grief and not taking action in time. He'd taken way too long to try and find him. He should have been aware of everything months ago, a year ago. Now Edward, the proud, snarky, and independent kid that he secretly loved like a son and would do anything for, had _given up_.

Maes carefully pulled Roy's hands from his face and made him look at him.

"Roy… Roy, look at me." Roy eventually did. "Do you see where we are?"

"What?"

"Do you see where we are?"

"Xerxes…"

"Do you know where that is?"

"What are you getting at, Hughes?"

"Just answer the question. Where is Xerxes?"

"In the middle of the desert."

"And you know where it isn't?"

Roy frowned at him, not in the mood for games.

"Where?"

"Central."

"What the _hell_ does that have to do with this?"

"He lost faith because he thinks you're not coming. But you are. You're here, in Xerxes, which is _not_ in Central. It means that you're almost there. You _are_ coming for him. He may have lost faith but that doesn't mean you can't gain it back because you're coming. You're _going_ to save him because we're almost there already."

Riza bent down to her superior and grabbed one of his hands with her own.

"Maes is right, Colonel. He lost faith because he thinks you're not coming. Show him that you are. We're not far from Xing. Let's find Edward and bring him home."

Roy looked at the numbers etched into the ground and then at his two friends. He breathed in with resolve and nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

After traveling some distance to Xing, they finally made it into town. After getting some food and drink, they began to ask around in regards to Edward's whereabouts. They finally came across a sleazy fellow who was going to get away if Roy hadn't made a fire wall the best way to block a path.

"Look, just tell me where I can find someone who sells kids or something."

The guy looked at him for a second and then held out his hand.

"For a fee, I can tell you exactly where to look."

"How about you tell us where he is and I'll not blow your fucking head off?" Roy said, putting his thumb and middle finger together to make a spark.

The man flinched but nodded.

"Okay, okay… Usually if they get children from Amestris, they send them to the red light district. You'll find him there."

"What do they do with them?" Maes asked.

"What do you _think_ they do with them?"

Maes punched the guy in the throat and turned away, the others following.

"Nice going, Hughes." Roy said with a small smile.

"I was hoping for a different answer. By the way, if we get suspended for this adventure, I'm blaming it all on you, Roy."

"Go ahead. This is worth it to me."

"I think we should get a change of clothes, sir." Riza said. "Three military officers going into the red light district of Xing is pretty noticeable."

"True. That sounds like a good idea."

They went to a store and bought some different clothing. Roy and Maes looked like they could pull of being Xingese but Riza looked very out of place. Roy laughed a little.

"You look really out of place, Hawkeye."

"You look too much _in_ place."

"My aunt said I may have Xingese in me but it's a rumor. She wouldn't tell me anything else otherwise."

The three of them headed for the red light district.

* * *

"Hello, pretty lady." Roy said.

The woman in the slot of the brothel smiled at him and leaned on the wall.

"Hello, there. Did you come for a little piece of heaven?"

"Sorry, honey, but I'm looking for something a little different tonight."

The woman frowned. "I'm sorry I don't float your boat."

"Maybe another time. Where could I get something exotic?"

"Exotic? Like a Cretian?"

"No, something more… Amestrian."

"You want something like that?" the woman said with a degrading laugh.

"Well, actually, between you and me, I was looking for something a little… blonde."

"Ooooh." She said, suddenly perking up. "You mean the Goldies."

"Is that what they're called? I'm sorry if I didn't know but my friend and his fianceé there," He pointed to Maes and Riza. "Thought that I would like to drown my sorrow with a blonde. My girlfriend dumped me and they said a blonde was something completely different from her and could help me get over her."

"Your friend must be very rich. All of the Golden Ones are kept at one place: The House of the Rising Sun. It's at the very end of the red light district, you can't miss it."

"How much are they?"

The woman ran her finger down Roy's shirt from the slot in the building.

"A lot more expensive than I am. I can give you a good time worth half the price and better the service. Since most of the Goldies were captured from Amestris and other places, their services are not as smooth as mine could be."

Roy smiled and took her hands off his shirt.

"I appreciate the offer, but my friend is paying for my services and he wants me to be with a Goldie, you called them?" The woman nodded. "He just didn't know where the place was. Thank you for being of help to me." He slipped her some money in her hand. "For the information."

Roy was thankful Maes had convinced them to get some of their currency switched to the Xing currency. He had no idea how much he was giving to her but she seemed to think it reasonable.

"Anytime… And if you ever want some 'normal' healing, I'm here all the time."

Roy smiled at her and went back to Maes and Riza.

"What did your little friend say?" Maes said with a smirk.

"She said that people with blonde hair are kept in a house at the end of the district called The House of the Rising Sun. That's where we have to go."

They nodded and headed down the street (which seemed like forever) and found the place. It wasn't hard to find even if you weren't looking for it. The outside was painted in all colors of yellow and there was a sparkling sun shape on the front of the building. Even the door was painted a golden color.

"The woman said this place is expensive due to the blondes being so rare. Hawkeye, I think you should not come in. They may want to buy you and all I want is to get Edward."

"Understood, sir."

He and Maes walked into the place and was met by a man a little younger than them.

"Hello, welcome to the House of the Rising Sun. Here is a menu."

Roy and Maes looked at each other as they were led down the hallway. Roy looked at the menu and saw that it consisted of both food and preferences of men, women, and children (boy or girl).

"So, what are you two looking for today? Some beautiful women to help you ease the day away?'

"Actually, we're looking for a male child."

The man's smile twitched only for a second but he just smiled and nodded.

"Of course, sirs. Right this way."

He led him down another hall and went to a door marked with the 'male' symbol. He opened it up and gestured to the children in there. Roy wanted to gag at the mistreatment of them all. The room was halfway decent but the children were chained against the wall by either an arm or a foot and they looked like they had been beaten, whipped, and everything else.

"Is there a reason why they look so… unkept?" Maes asked.

"Maintenance of everyday cleaning is hard to come by. We serve exotic people but exotics are pricey. Once you pick the one you want, we will clean them up all spic and span. The prices are tattooed on their forearms. Once you make your selection, just pull the cord in the corner and I will come to clean him up. Please make yourself acquainted but please refrain from doing anything until we get you a proper room."

The cheeriness over what the man thought they wanted with one of these poor children was enough to make Roy want to see the man's head roll. It was said that there really were people that disgusting who this man had to be kind to. He didn't agree to it himself, since Roy saw his smile fall for a split second, but his job was to sell, not to discriminate. He left them and they looked all over the place for Edward.

* * *

"Did you find what you're looking for?" the man asked, coming back after about fifteen minutes.

"I'm sorry but no. Do you have any others?"

The man made a face but he motioned for them to come closer.

"Are you into the defects?"

"Defects?"

"Sometimes we get those that have gone crazy or lost their minds. Most people don't find them fun but some have their kicks. Is… is that what you're looking for?"

Maes looked at Roy with a knowing look: if Edward had lost his sanity, he might be in there.

"Yes, please show us the um… defects."

The man nodded. "I do fair warn you not to touch any of them. We will sedate the one you pick and clean them up and then reanimate them once in your room."

Roy nodded and followed the man down the hall to the last door.

"Unfortunately, we don't very many anymore but we have about six new arrivals. I hope they are um… to your satisfaction."

The man turned the light on in the room and the six children all flinched in at the light. They were even worse than the regular ones. Roy looked around but there was still no Edward

"Are you _sure_ this is all you have?"

"Oh! How silly of me, there is one more but he is in use at the moment."

Roy stiffened. "In use?"

"Yes, little golden haired boy, most extraordinary color. Not only is his hair gold but his _eyes_. He was a complete treasure when he was presented to us. He's been the most popular one here! Despite the fact that his mind is broken and he is missing an arm and a leg, he must be Amestrian because he is fully functional with automail! It's so amazing."

"Broken?" Roy said, trying not to break his own jaw from keeping his jaw clenched shut.

"Oh yes, poor thing only says a couple of things. A string of some numbers and only one saying; something about someone coming to save him. The customers enjoy him because he runs on automatic, they say. Tell him to do something and he does it without thinking but when asked a question, he only says what I told you." The man looked at the clock on the wall. "His time should be almost up. Would you like him?"

"Yes. Yes, I would love him." Roy said through gritted teeth.

"Excellent. I'll set up a room for you… um… will you both be… in the room?"

Maes just nodded, too shocked to really say anything at all and the man led them to their room.

* * *

The man closed the door and Maes looked like a boulder had fallen down on his shoulders as he slumped to the floor.

"What the hell, Roy? _What the **hell**?_"

"We're getting him out of here. I don't care if we spend every penny we have. I'll sell my _own_ body to get him out of here." Roy snarled, his hand clenching.

The door opened again and they looked over at it. The man from before peeked in.

"Sorry to disrupt you but we're going to just freshen him up for you."

"Thanks."

He closed the door again and Roy went to the window. It had a balcony and he stepped out to see if he could see Riza. She was stationed below and he signaled her to the balcony.

"Did you find him?" she whispered up.

"We will but… I don't know what I'm going to see. Stay near."

She gave him an 'ok' signal and went back to where she had been.

A couple minutes later the door opened and the man peeked in.

"Are you ready? Here he is."

The tiny boy that stepped through the door was nothing more than a shell. There was absolutely no one living there. The man had been right and Edward was on automatic. Roy heard a heart wrenching noise let out and he didn't realize it was him until he felt tears run down his face. Edward just stood there and didn't do anything, waiting for a command.

"Come here…" he said softly.

Edward walked to him slowly and Roy wrapped his arms around him, holding him in a hug. Edward didn't put his arms around him, just stood there. It hurt Roy even more to see him that way and he pulled back, looking at the vacancy of his subordinate's golden eyes. His hair was growing back in but his bangs were still the same as ever, getting into his face. He pushed them back softly and Edward brought his hand up to Roy's face, touching it with an odd feeling.

Roy realized what he was doing.

"No." he said, pushing Edward's hand down. "I'm not here for that."

"Roy?" Maes said in worry.

"Roy will save me." Edward suddenly said, his voice small and hoarse.

The sentence made Maes and Roy looked at each other.

"What did you say?"

"Roy will save me. A-56-60-8-10-D." he said, not looking at anyone.

Roy furrowed his brows. "Edward, I'm here. I've come to rescue you."

"Roy will save me. He always comes. A-56-60-8-10-D."

"Edward, I'm here right now! I'm _here_!" Roy said frantically as he shook Edward.

The action caused Edward to scream in terror and he crumbled into a ball.

"A-56-60-8-10-D! A-56-60-8-10-D! 52-8-8 34-57-8-74!" he screamed, holding his hands over his head as if he was trying to protect himself from getting hit.

The broken boy made Roy's heart leap in his chest and he hesitantly touched Edward again. All he did was scrunch into a tighter ball but Roy picked him up and held him like a baby, wrapping his arms around him to make him feel like he was secure.

"I've got you, Fullmetal."

Edward suddenly stopped crying and looked up at Roy. If Edward's brain had been a house, small lights would have come on in the windows as it looked as if recognition was starting to occur. Roy didn't say anything, not wanting to spook him. Edward got out of his arms and suddenly got on his knees, bowing in front of Roy.

"I am here to serve you." He said.

Roy looked at Maes.

"I… I don't want to be served."

Edward looked up in confusion and then seemed as if recognition hit him and his eyes lost the lights again. He immediately began to undo the little jacket he had on and Roy frowned angrily.

"Stop that."

"Roy will save me." Edward said automatically.

Roy reached out and touched Edward's hands. "Stop…"

Edward looked up at him and then looked at Maes, although he wasn't really seeing him.

"Fullmetal?" Edward turned back. "Do you even know who we are? Do… do you know your name?"

"…No…" he answered, seeming very confused.

"We're here to rescue you and that's what we're going to do. Maes, go tell hat man we're going to buy him."

Edward looked at Roy. "Roy will save me."

"I know."

"A-56-60-8-10-D."

"Come here." Roy said.

Edward automatically walked over to him and Roy picked him up, hugging him close. Edward just put his head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I took so long… I'm _so_ sorry."

"Roy will save me. A-56-60-8-10-D."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's more than one way to skin a cat so... yeah. it'll make sense soon

As Roy argued with the proprietor of the building about Edward's true place, Maes was to take care of him for a second. It disturbed him that Edward's automatic function was to make tea. He did so masterfully and he brought it over to Maes, setting the small tray in front of him. He then sat on his knees and waited for Maes to taste it. Maes did and was surprised that it was… exactly how he liked it.

"Edward… How did you know?"

"Roy will save me." He said, turning away as if he was going to be smacked.

There was a very forceful thud against the wall of the room where Roy and the man were talking and Maes looked up. He sighed and drank his tea in silence with Edward still on his knees in front of him. There was another thud and the sound of sheet rock falling from the ceiling. Edward looked over casually as if it weren't anything new.

"I know this won't make a difference to your mind," Edward turned to him. "But we travelled a long way to find you… I know it's late but… but we're going to take you home."

Edward looked at him curiously.

"Roy will save me. A-56-60-8-10-D."

Maes sighed, trying not to shake the child awake and let him know that Roy was already there… He suddenly felt Edward touch his hand and looked down. Edward was setting it on top of his head and moving it about. Maes took up what it looked like Edward was asking for and rustled his hair a little. Edward smiled and got a little closer to Maes, reaching up to touch his beard. He then reached up and grabbed his glasses, taking them off slowly. Maes suddenly realized what he was doing and pulled back quickly.

The motion scared Edward and he fell back, whimpering and scrunching into a ball.

"Roy will save me! Roy will save me! He always comes! A-56-60-8-10-D! Roy will save me!" he cried over and over again, shaking in the little ball he'd scrunched himself into.

There was another thud and the door broke open, the proprietor on the ground and Roy coming through the door with his fingers ready to strike. There was a menacing glare in his eyes as he looked at the man on the ground.

"I'm not playing around anymore. If you don't give that child to me, in the name of the Amestrian military forces, I will burn your business to the ground. And I will make sure every little service you do is let loose and told to go home so they can tell stories of the atrocities of this place and then come looking for _you_ to hunt down and kill for all the innocents you've helped defile and for fucking around with an Amestrian officer who is under _my_ command. That, in my book, is a direct sentence to my wrath." Roy sent a warning stream of fire to the other side of the room. He then smiled cruelly at the man. "You think the Devil is something to worry about? How about I give you Hell on earth _right now_. Which level of Hell do you think you'll be experiencing tonight?"

"T- Take him! He's yours!"

Roy grinned and walked over him to where Maes was trying to calm Edward down.

"You scared the hell out of him, Roy. He was just coming out of his own trauma when you came in here with the fireworks."

"I'm sorry…" Roy knelt down next to Edward, who was mumbling something and shaking. "Edward, I'm sorry. Let's go home.

"He can't understand you and he won't let me touch him."

Roy made a face. "Let me try something… Fullmetal."

Edward peeked out from under an arm.

"Fullmetal, I'm talking to you. Please respond."

He slowly unfolded and got back on his knees, his head down. He also raised his hand up in a salute. Maes narrowed his eyes at him.

"Fullmetal, we're here to save you, do you understand?"

"Roy will save me."

"I _am_ Roy."

Edward looked up and shook his head softly.

"No… A-56-60-8-10-D."

"Fullmetal, _I_ am Roy!"

"NO! A-56-60-8-10-D!" he screamed, looking pretty angry for a four year old.

Roy got on one knee, getting a little closer to Edward's height.

"Fullmetal, look at me. _Look_ at me." Edward looked at him with the same anger as before. "I'm Roy Mustang. Colonel Mustang… Colonel Bastard if that's what you want to call me."

Edward looked at him for a minute and then his anger seemed to flare as he crawled away from him, pointing.

"52-8-8 34-57-8-74. A-56-60-8-10-D. He _always_ comes." He growled.

"Roy, shut up. You're making him angry for some reason. We got him. Let's go." Maes turned back to Edward and got on one knee as well. "Ed, we're going to take you home now. I know you're waiting for Roy but he sent us to take you."

"A-56-60-8-10-D." Edward replied, watching Maes curiously.

"We're going to take you home now." He said, holding his hand out.

Edward looked at him and tears formed in his eyes.

"13 53-16 31-8-10… 52-8-8 34-57-8-74… A-56-60-8-10-D…" he said, the tears falling down his face.

"I know but… you'll be safe." Edward blinked a little, as if he didn't know what that word meant. "Safe… You're safe now."

Even if his mind didn't register the word, his body knew and he ran into Maes' arms. He scooped him up and held him tight.

Roy watched with not an ounce of satisfaction. He hadn't saved Edward at all: Maes had.

* * *

They walked outside and met up with Riza, who had her gun in her hand.

"Is everything alright, sir? Will they be following us or anything else?"

"No, I think I convinced them well enough of what I expected." He said with a small smirk.

"Where's Edward?"

Roy thumbed behind him. "Maes has him."

Riza watched as Maes walked out with Edward when Edward turned to her and smiled a little.

"You chased after me." He said, pointing to her as they walked.

"I did…" Riza said with a smile, so glad to see him safe.

"We'll get tickets tomorrow and head back home. For now, we'll have to stay in the inn. Fullmetal is with me."

"Uh, don't you think that would look bad with a married man and an unmarried woman staying in a room together?"

Roy glared at Maes. "This is Xing. We just rescued Edward from a brothel. I don't think they'll care about your marital affairs. Besides, I know you're loyal to Gracia through and through and Hawkeye would just shot you in the ass if you tried something anyway. I've been searching for too long to lose sight of him now. I want Edward with me."

"Sir, permission to speak?" Riza said.

"Yes?"

"He's pretty dirty… who's going to wash him?"

Everyone stopped and Roy turned back to her. He looked over at Edward, who had fallen asleep on Maes' shoulders, seeing that even though he may have been wiped off, he was still nasty from the place.

"Don't you think we should take him to a doctor too? I mean…" Maes said, pushing his glasses up.

Roy swallowed hard, the decision not an easy one.

"I'm afraid that… I'm afraid we won't be able to wash him until we get back to Amestris. You're both right but Edward comes first and… Maes is more right in the fact that we need to take him to a hospital. If we wash him… well… the evidence of anything could be washed away. As much as I want to clean him of that horrible place… I can't…"

Riza nodded. "Understood, sir."

"We will take him to the first hospital that we come to. I'm not waiting until we get to Central for any of that. As I said, he comes first and we need to know as soon as possible."

They nodded and went to the hotel.

* * *

_"Roy will come for me."_

_The large man laughed as he glared at him._

_"Yeah, well if he's coming, then he's taking his sweet time getting here!"_

_"He always comes."_

_"Hey, Dallas, isn't he cute? Doesn't say much else so why don't you take advantage of that."_

* * *

Edward opened his eyes, scrunching up in a little ball immediately. When he didn't feel the sting that usually accompanied his accidental naps, he blinked a little and sat up, looking around. It took him a minute to realize he was sitting on something soft and plush and he looked down, finding a bed. He turned his head at that, as if it were so foreign to him. He looked around and saw that it was big but there was nothing ominous in there. He then turned and gasped, scooting as far away as he could. There was a man laying beside him.

Sadly, this wasn't something unfamiliar to him but something seemed different. The man turned over and Edward's eyes got as big as saucers. He had to get away. He quickly fell off the bed and headed for a door, turning the knob. He realized now why he felt so different why everything was different. His brain wasn't foggy anymore and he knew he had to escape. After all, how was Roy supposed to find him if he didn't tell him where to look? Edward stopped then, looking at the carpet of the inn.

"A-56-60-8-10-D." he said to himself, as if reminding himself about something.

"Edward?"

He turned, seeing Riza coming off the elevator and onto the floor. He remember her running after him; he could see her face clearly now. He ran to her quickly, grabbing her around the legs. Riza was carrying a bag and dropped it when he ran to her. She pried his arms loose and picked him up. Edward held on fast, not wanting to let go.

"I've got you… I've got you. You don't have to worry; you're safe now."

Edward didn't know what that word meant anymore.

"Edward?! Edward! Edward, where did you go?!" Roy yelled, coming out of the room in a frenzy.

Maes heard him yelling and opened his door as well.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Edward's gone."

"I have him." Riza said. "He was wandering the hallway."

"Give him to me."

Roy reached out to get him but Edward held onto Riza even harder and buried his face in her neck. He frowned and touched him softly. He latched onto Riza so tight she thought she'd choke as he shook.

"No! Roy will save me… Roy will save me…"

Roy stared at his lieutenant with a shocked and saddened expression, as if she were the one doing it. She looked at him with a sad look.

"I promise it's not me, sir… He's latched onto me tight. I'm sorry."

He nodded and smiled just a little, still touching Edward softly on the back.

"Take care of him, Lieutenant."

She nodded and they all went back to their rooms.

* * *

When they woke up, they hurried and got horses to cross the desert and headed out immediately. It took them a bit longer since the winds were kicking up but they eventually got to Amestris again. All the while, Edward wanted nothing to do with Roy, little to do with Maes, and everything to do with Riza. Riza would never deny the boy's needs but she hated that all it was doing was hurting her superior. The look of sadness in his eyes when Edward would scream or shy away from him almost broke her own heart. He'd fought so hard and tried for so long to have the one person he was looking for shun him…

As stated, they took him to a hospital immediately for Edward to get checked.

* * *

"Colonel Roy Mustang?" the doctor said.

"Yes, that's me."

"You're this boy's guardian?"

"Uh… well, yes."

"I see. Well, do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

" _Is_ there any good news?"

"Yes, there is."

"Fine… either one is fine."

"Alright… Good news is that there was no indication of rape. We did a test and nothing came up." Roy didn't realize his breath was being held for so long until he breathed. "But that's where the bad news comes in. There wasn't any indication of rape in the anus but… the boy indicated there were other sexual encounters. Mostly oral, other things done to him, etc." The doctor let that sink in and then cleared his throat. "And uh, I'm sure you've noticed that he has some psychological damage."

"No shit."

"But it seems to only be with people with dark hair. You said that he shies away from you and the Lieutenant Colonel?"

"Yes. He clings to my subordinate."

"Blonde hair… I'm not psychiatrist –which I _strongly_ advice you to get one for him when you get back to Central- but I'm 90% sure it has to do with Xingese features of dark hair and eyes and… no offense, sir, but you look like you have Xingese in you."

Roy clenched his fist but kept his cool. He had a niggling feeling in the back of his head that that may have been the case but he just didn't want to hear it. But whenever Edward turned away from him, the statement Riza had made would always come back to him: he had blended way too well in Xing.

"Along with that, the issue with not saying much seems more like a mantra than anything. You said that at one point he was brainwashed?"

"That's what I was told."

"Hmm… the mixture of brainwashing and his credence in you finding him could have caused this issue. As I said, I'm not a child psychologist, but I'm giving you some options to discuss with one. He needs to be figured out, Colonel."

"Anything else?"

"Yes, uh… he's been diagnosed with hypnophobia."

"What is that?"

"The fear of sleeping."

"He slept fine all the way back from Xing."

"But does he like it? Does he try and keep awake as much as possible? When he wakes up, does he act like he's in fear? During his sleep, is it normal, or is his breathing rapid or does he tremble?"

Roy thought for a moment and he remembered Riza mentioning that Edward never slept well, just usually conked out at random periods of time.

"I see…"

"I'm sure it has to do with this event. Other than that, he's fine. He's ready to go if you would like to bath him." He said with a small smile.

Roy nodded and went back to his friends. He told them what the doctor said and Maes put his hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Roy. I know this is hard for you."

"I'm… going to try something. Hawkeye, come with me in case if fails."

She nodded and walked with him to the room where Edward was.

* * *

Edward was sitting on the bed, swinging his legs and eating the lollipop the nice lady had given him. The door opened and when he looked up, he saw Roy and looked away.

_("You think you can look me in the eye, little shit? Let's see if you look me in the eyes when I'm done with you.")_

"Edward… Edward, please look at me." He looked up slightly as Roy looked at him. "We're going to take you home now."

As Roy walked closer, Edward's eyes got wider and he almost fell off the bed for trying to get away. Roy sighed and motioned for Riza to come in instead. Seeing Riza, he pointed at her.

"You chased after me." That seemed to be the only thing he knew to call her.

Riza smiled at him and he held out his arms to her as she picked him up. She walked past Roy slowly, knowing Roy was in shambles.

Roy may have been in shambles but he was also irate past any height of anger he had ever had. He was going to find the people who did this and then he was going to torture them.

Slowly.

And without mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, there is strong indication that roy's mother may have been xingese or had direct xingese ancestry in cannon but no one really addresses this much. anyway, so poor edward at least didn't get anything done himself but... other ways can be done. and i think eventually roy will just burst into his own spontaneous combustion. why can't ed 'see' roy?
> 
> we'll be getting into that later actually. and more copplestone to come because... i happen to like that guy *shrug*


	8. Chapter 8

Maes watched Roy as they got the tickets for the train ride back to Central as he watched Edward cling to Riza like a baby chick to its mother. He knew that he blamed himself for whatever was happening and even though he didn't want to be jealous of his subordinate, the fact that it seemed like everyone _except_ him could get through to Edward was eating at his soul.

"Roy?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, look at me." Roy looked at him. "If you glare at Hawkeye anymore you'll shoot fire from your eyes at her…"

"What are you talking about? I'm just watching her get tickets."

"With about the same amount of malice as you have for the people who hurt Ed. Roy, she can't help it if Edward feels comfortable around her. Do you think she's doing it on purpose just to hurt you?"

"I know it has nothing to do with her."

"Then why are you staring at her like you could rip her heart out?"

Roy turned away, realizing that Maes was right and he was secretly very angry with her. Maes walked over to his friend and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Look, he'll come around. When we get to Central, I'll see what I can do about a child psychiatrist-"

"He doesn't need one of those."

Maes blinked at his friend.

"Are you serious?"

"Edward can figure it out himself. Now that he's not being brainwashed or used like a whore, I think it's safe to say that he will begin to remember himself."

Maes was going to say something else but Riza walked up and handed them their tickets.

"Here's the rest of the money. Since Edward is under five he gets to ride for free."

Roy took it and pocketed it. He then took out his watch to see what time it was. He wanted to know how long it would be before nightfall.

"Watch."

Roy looked up and saw that Edward was looking at him quite intently.

"What?"

"Watch. Mine." He said, looking between the watch and Roy.

"This is my watch, see?" he said, opening it to show that the inside was clean. "Your watch is back at home. That's where I found your color codes."

Edward seemed to think about it for a minute, as if he were trying to remember what that meant. Roy pointed to the inside of the watch opening.

"Your watch says: 'Don't forget, 3 Oct. 10'. I don't know what it means but it's something special to you."

Edward stared at the watch for a second and then turned away, wrapping his arm around Riza's neck.

"13 53-16 31-8-10…"

Roy sighed and closed the watch, heading to the train platform so that they could go.

* * *

As they rode the train back to Central, Edward was fascinated by the countryside and watched it with keen interest. As he looked at the moving scenery, the three soldiers continued to deliberate what would be done with Edward.

"Well, first things first, we need to get him cleaned up. We didn't have time to really do anything since we needed to get back to Central, but we need to clean him up." Maes said, looking at Edward's clothes. "Second, we need to get him new clothes."

"Agreed." Roy said.

"I think the next thing we should do is try to get him back to normal." Riza said. "I mean, he's not a four year old boy; he's a teenager. He may not remember it, but that's what he was. Maybe we can get Copplestone to replicate his formula and get him back. Who knows? Maybe being his normal age will do something."

"Maybe..." Roy said.

Riza and Maes looked at each other, both noticing the lackluster in their friend's responses.

"Colonel?" He looked up at Riza. "Is there anything we can help you with?"

"Not unless you know how to repair a broken child."

"That's what we're trying to do, Colonel. I know you're upset about the things happening here but we need your input on what we can do. You're his superior, thus you are the one that makes the final decisions of his care."

"And even though he hasn't warmed up to you yet, that doesn't mean that he won't." Maes said.

Roy banged his fist on the side of the train, making Edward look at him and the other two stared.

"Please talk about what we can do to help him. I don't care about what happens between me and him as of right now; I just want to get him back to normal. Whether or not he gets back to normal with _me_ is not a priority. His _sanity_ is. Now, what else can we try?"

Riza looked at Maes and he sighed, deciding to just do what his friend wanted. Bringing up the fact that Edward was avoiding him wasn't that great of an idea but Maes thought that he would try.

"I know you don't think we should do this, but I think we should get someone to talk to Ed about what happened. See if we can figure out who it was."

"And how are you going to get a boy who has been brainwashed into oblivion to talk? Just mentioning some things makes him want to curl up and cry." Roy said.

"That's why… well… that's why I think that Copplestone should talk to him."

Roy and Riza looked at Maes like he was crazy.

"You want to have that maniac talk to Edward?"

"He's not a maniac."

Roy went ballistic.

"Not a maniac? NOT A MANIAC?! He turned my subordinate into a child and then got him sold on the black market! He let his brother die and you say he's not a maniac?!"

"13 53-16 31-8-10." Edward said softly, looking down at the floor.

Roy looked at him and seemed to settle down. He ran his fingers through his hair and Maes sighed.

"I know you think that Copplestone is a maniac but I've talked with him a couple of times and although he's not a child psychiatrist, he's excellent with children. He seems to be genuine with them and children never fear him. I asked the other men on his team what they thought of him and they all said he was odd and strange but when I asked about him and children, all they had was praise. They said that he can talk down teenagers and have them crying in guilt, he can get children to be excited for their chores, make them smile, keep them brave… They said the children loved him no matter where they went and he seemed at ease with them. It wasn't a perverted thing either, because I asked. They all said that if Copplestone wasn't in the army, they swore he would be a teacher or the owner of an orphanage."

"He sounds like a real good Samaritan." Roy growled.

"The point is, Copplestone said he changed Edward into a child for his own purposes of study but maybe it's because he gets along better with kids than adults. He had said that he was going to leave with Edward as soon as he was done and you never got a call from Edward about being in any harm, right? Edward would have known if he were in harm's way and Alphonse would have known too. The only time he called was when he was getting kidnapped."

"That doesn't have any bearing to the issue at hand."

"It _does_. Roy, Copplestone could draw out the things we need to know from Edward that he feels like he can't tell us. I wouldn't suggest something like this if I wasn't for certain that it would work. We need to understand Edward and if he won't talk to us, then maybe he will talk to Copplestone. He has to talk to _somebody_."

Roy looked over at Edward, who seemed to be fighting off sleep as much as he could as he leaned on the back of the seat. Roy didn't like the idea of putting Edward in with someone who would blatantly turn a person into a child, but Maes was right in that Edward never called to say he was in danger until he was being kidnapped. Maes was also right in that they needed to get information from Edward in order to figure out who did this and why and if he wouldn't talk to them then…

Roy took off his jacket and leaned over, laying it over Edward. The jacket encompassed his tiny body and Edward opened his eyes again, looking down at the jacket. At first Roy thought he would go into a panic and throw the jacket off but he leaned over onto Riza and snuggled into the jacket.

"Radium, oxygen, yttrium…" he said, seeming to, for the first time, welcome sleep. "I knew you'd save me."

Roy wanted to cry in both happiness and sadness.

"Yeah, Ed… I'm here…"

"52-8-8 34-57-8-74…" he mumbled, as he put the jacket to his nose and fell asleep almost instantly.

Roy smiled, feeling a sense of hope for the first time in months.

"I don't like the plan, Hughes, but I'll try it. Although I want to talk to him first."

"Really?"

"What just happened shows me that Edward still remembers me but for some reason, he can't 'see' me. It's like I'm invisible to him."

"What did just happen?" Maes asked, truly not understanding.

"Radium, oxygen, yttrium. I remember it from the first thing he coded to us: RaOY = Roy. If he remembers what I smell like then we somehow have to get him to realize that _I'm_ the person the smell belongs to. If Copplestone can get him to realize he's safe and I came for him then…"

"So, you're in for this?"

"Yes."

With new euphoria, they traveled to Central with a little higher hopes than before.

* * *

They finally reached Central and the train stopped at the Central Station. Riza woke Edward up and he opened his eyes. He jumped up and scrambled to the other side of the seat from her but when his eyes finally focused, he realized he wasn't in any danger. He looked at the jacket that was around him and sniffed the material. He knew this scent.

"Edward?" He looked up. He still wasn't sure what an 'edward' was but these people called him that and they seemed to respond favorably if he responded to it. "Are you alright?"

It was an odd question, one that should have had a simple answer of yes or no. Edward wasn't very sure what the right answer should be since, most of the time, any answer either ended in physical abuse or verbal abuse. He decided to use the response that usually avoided physical abuse and that was a nod. To his delight, he was not hurt and he breathed out, pulling the jacket around him tighter.

"Edward, you need to give the Colonel back his jacket." The nice lady who had ran after him told him.

He wished he knew her name… he wished his head wasn't as foggy as it was. Even though he wasn't being brainwashed, the effects of the verbal abuse still had him clawing for memories and the ability to keep memories. It seemed like a moot point to memorize anything that didn't keep him alive, names being one of them. He found she was trying to take off the jacket and he screamed, pulling it back.

"NO!" he yelled, immediately regretting it.

He held fast to the jacket but scrunched up in a ball, knowing he would get beaten for sure for his outburst. He would rather take the physical abuse now, _anything_ to keep the jacket with that man's scent on it. It was hope. It was safety.

It was _Roy_.

"It's alright, Hawkeye, let him keep it. If it makes him feel better then I don't mind."

Not feeling anything touch him, Edward peeked out of the jacket and saw the two other people leave as Riza smiled at him.

"I won't take it away… It will be easier to carry you, though, if you put your arms in the sleeves."

Edward did as she asked and she smiled at him. She then picked him up and he laid his head on her shoulder as they walked out onto the platform.

When Riza got there, Maes was waiting for her and Roy was nowhere to be seen.

"Where did the Colonel go?"

"He went to call Havoc and have him send a car to get us. He also is telling them to send Copplestone to the interrogation room so that Roy can have a talk about Edward."

"Do you really think Copplestone can draw Edward out?"

"In regards to the Edward we know, I doubt he can find him. But I have high hopes in getting him to help us understand what happened so we can avenge Edward's capture and… well, Alphonse's death."

"31-8-10." Edward said softly.

Riza pat his back as Maes smiled.

"He seems pretty attached to Roy's jacket."

"Yeah…"

Roy came back and put his hands in his pockets.

"Havoc said he'll be sending a car to pick us up. If you don't mind, Hawkeye, we will drop you and Edward at your house. Clean him up and make him feel comfortable. Hughes and I will go talk to Copplestone."

"Understood, sir."

They made their way outside to wait for Havoc.

* * *

After dropping off Riza and Edward, Maes and Roy went to headquarters and into the interrogation room. Maes put his hand on Roy's shoulders.

"Now, try to keep a cool head and remember what I said to tell him. I'm going to be listening but don't burn him to a crisp, please."

"I've decided I'm going to save it for the people who did this."

Maes smiled and pat his shoulder again as Roy entered the room.

Beje looked up and grinned.

"Well if it isn't my best friend, the Colonel. You've been gone for a while now. Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Indeed."

"Isn't that a lovely ending to this tragic story? I'm glad everything worked out for you."

"Not quite."

"Oh?" Beje said, turning his head a little. He put his hands on the table and grinned. "What happened?"

"Edward is… broken…"

"As he should be. Did you expect him to be the same?"

"Yes, I did."

Beje laughed. "You're even more delusional than I thought you'd be. If you _actually_ thought that Edward would have any shred of sanity after all this time, you are one hell of an optimist."

Roy clenched his fists but breathed in to keep from lashing out.

"I asked you to be brought here because we would like for you to do two things for us."

"Is that so?"

"One is that we need you to make Edward be normal again. Put him to his normal age."

"Well, that would be a grand idea if I had my notes. If I had them, I'd be happy to help you out."

"Then whenever we find them."

"If you can. I'm sure you'll have to find the men who took your subordinate before you can find my notes."

"We'll cross the bridge when we come to it, but as of right now, I need to know if you are going to fix him if we get them."

"Sure."

"Good. The second thing is that Lieutenant Colonel Hughes said he can get your imprisonment sentence shortened significantly if you will help us understand what happened to Edward."

Beje turned his head. "I don't know what you mean?"

"We know you're no child psychiatrist but I hear you do well with children. Edward is… afraid of us and won't talk. We thought that maybe you could get him to get past his mental block."

"Mental block? What do you mean?"

"He was brainwashed at some point, which is why he didn't bother with alchemy when he could have gotten himself out plenty of times. He was also physically, emotionally, and verbally abused. He also has a suspicious nature towards anyone with black hair… mostly me…"

"Hmm. Yeah, that sounds about right."

"So will you help us?"

"I'll do what I can. Like you said, I ain't no psychiatrist… but this isn't because you want to find those people, is it?"

"What do you mean? Of course it is."

"No it's not. You're not telling me something. That last thing about black haired people. Come on Roy-B- Roy, you're wanting to know a little bit more information."

Roy made a face at him as Beje waited patiently.

"Fine. He doesn't seem to see me. It's as if I'm invisible to him although he says almost every time 'Roy will save me, he always comes.'. When I said that I was Roy he got very angry and refused to believe it. He gets scared when I try to get near him, cowering and saying the same thing over and over about me saving him. But then… I put my jacket on him on the train and he remembered my scent. How can he know my scent but not know my face?"

Beje put his chin in his hand and smirked.

"You've never seen a brainwash victim then, have you?"

"I've seen plenty."

"Ah, then let me rephrase that: you've never seen a brainwashed _child_ have you?"

"No…"

"The deal is that he doesn't believe you are who you say you are. His mind has blocked your image from him because he's been tricked many times before. A child's brain is easy to manipulate if you know what you're doing."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm pretty sure when he said that little phrase that the men who had him used it against him. It's like the boy who cried wolf. Have you ever heard that story, Roy?" Roy said nothing. "It's about a boy who liked to play with the town's people. 'Help, help, the wolf is coming to eat me.' He'd say. The villagers would come and he would laugh at them, telling them how silly they were for believing his little lie. Time after time he did this and after a while, the villagers stopped believing him. Then one day, a _real_ wolf came. 'Help, help, the wolf is coming to eat me.' He yelled. But the villagers didn't believe him and he was eaten, torn the shreds.

"Think about it Colonel: how many times do you think those people who had Edward cried wolf? Once? Twice? It's been almost a year or so since you've seen him and I'm sure there's been a lot of wolves. After a while, you stop believing the wolf is coming."

"So…"

Beje scoffed. "I'm going to blame this on being so focused on trying to find the kid that you're not thinking straight and not that maybe you're this idiotic. Whenever Edward would yell for you, someone would say that you were there. It gave him hope, he'd get excited, and then it wasn't you, but someone else. I'm sure with that false indication he would be abused in some way. As the old saying goes: fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."

"So people would pose as me then turn it around on him?" Roy said, getting very angry.

"Bingo, we have a winner."

"All Edward sees is a person; he forgot what I looked like?"

"It would seem so. But damn does he put faith in you. If he still believes you're coming to rescue him, even after you already have, then I say that's dedication."

"One more thing… while on the journey to find him, we found different codes he left in regards to the periodic table. Heading out to Xing, we found one in the Xerxes ruins that said: I lost faith in you… yet, he still keeps saying I'm coming."

"Sounds like two minds are working together. The one that believes in you, holds fast to never doubting your abilities to find him, and the one that has seen too many wolves and none of them are his savior. Like I said, fool me twice…"

"After he says that I'm coming to save him, he always says this: A-56-60-8-10-D. I'm not really sure what that means."

Beje seemed surprised and then looked at Roy sadly, genuinely sympathetic towards the man.

"I'm going to say this as someone who cares about the kid: get some sleep."

Roy fumed. "This isn't a fucking game-"

"I'm not _saying_ it's a game, _sir_." Beje snarled at him, taking Roy off guard. "You were obviously too preoccupied with saving Edward than with what he was saying. After you found him, you didn't think to check what he was rattling off? His babble has meaning, those _numbers_ have meaning. Get your head together, Mustang, before you fuck the whole thing up again! You've already taken way too long in your dreary little head of sorrow to try and find him and now you can't even understand what's happening? What's _happened_?! I _refuse_ to tell you what that means because you need to discover it yourself. I feel sorry for what's happened but I feel more sorry for Edward than I do you and what you have to do about the broken boy. I'd fucking fear you too… and he has every right to think that you are just another wolf of lore. You're nothing but a ruse… the cry of a wolf that isn't even there."

Roy got up and left, not wanting to deal with Beje any longer.

* * *

Maes watched Beje as he stared at Roy's empty seat. He banged his fists on the table and put his head in his hands. He only said one thing: "He had every right to lose faith in you, Colonel Roy Mustang… because you're _too slow_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so roy's been too focused on one thing to see the other and it even pissed off beje, the most cucumbery of cool in the story so far. what could be so bad about these numbers? DarkFlameFantasy already figured it out but anyone is welcome to do their research or be good and just wait for the big reveal haha. anyway, everyone is back home now and we can start looking for those dickholes who stole ed!
> 
> oh jsyk: when beje was wondering about roy's belief that edward would still be mentally okay is because before learning about roger's brainwashed discovery, he thought maybe edward fought back and still hoped he did even on the way to find him


	9. Chapter 9

Edward splashed water in the tub as one of the little floating toys went by and he watched it get into a small frenzy by the wave he had made. Riza chuckled and lathered up a rag with a bar of soap.

"Come on now, we need to get you cleaned up."

He was happy to oblige and stood up in the tub as Riza washed him quite extensively. If this had been a fluke in alchemy and Edward had been reduced to a child and she had been tasked with this job, she would feel quite odd doing it. But for some reason, knowing what they had to do and knowing what Edward may have had to go through, Riza didn't feel odd about washing the boy she knew and didn't even blush at washing the private areas. Not that Riza was ashamed either way, but she was familiar with the birds and the bees and it would have been awkward for anyone.

"Alright, I'm going to let the water out and wrap you up in a towel, alright?"

Edward nodded and she grabbed the large towel on the toilet seat. She unfolded it and then wrapped it around Edward so he was warm and she lifted him out of the water. She let the water out of the tub but Edward made a noise and he watched with intensity as the water went down the drain. She let him watch and when it was gone, he looked at her in confusion.

"Where?" he asked.

"Riza smiled. "It's gone."

"Gone?" He looked back at the tub and then back to Riza. "Gone…"

He seemed like he was contemplating it and Riza decided it was a good time to go back to the bedroom and get him changed into some clean clothes. She set him on the bed and dried him off when she noticed that he had a lot of scars all over him. Some were fresh, others were healing, and some had healed a long time ago. Crescent shaped ones were littered all up and down his arms and she touched the few that seemed fresh.

"Where did you get these?" she asked softly.

Edward looked at the scars and looked down at the floor.

"Master Tang…"

Riza was happy to be getting somewhere past encrypted words and fear. He seemed to opening up a little now that there wasn't someone always trying to get information from him or causing triggers.

"What made them?" she asked casually, wanting Edward to feel comfortable talking to her.

Edward thought for a moment and then touched Riza's arm. He wrapped his hand around her forearm and squeezed his fingers against it until she felt his fingernails go into her skin. He let go and there were indentions of the same type of marks on her own skin.

"I see… You have a lot of them."

"I don't like it when they try to make me do stuff." He said, looking down a little. "I don't like being touched."

Riza stopped touching him immediately and was at a loss as to what to do.

"I wasn't aware of the touching…"

Edward grabbed her arms quickly.

"No! Don't leave…"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"T-T-Touching… I meant… I meant…" He seemed unsure of how to explain himself. He just decided to point. "There."

Riza looked and then nodded quickly, understand quite well. She smiled and put the towel over his head so she could dry his hair.

"I would never do that."

"I know because you're the one who ran after me."

Riza smiled and rubbed where his hair was to make him dry and then threw the towel to the side. She grabbed the clothing and put it on him and she ran her fingers through his hair a little bit.

"Would you like to get your hair cut?"

"Will it hurt?"

"No, it won't hurt."

He touched his automail hand to hers and looked up.

"Why am I different?"

Riza smiled and touched his little hand, finding it odd how the serum he was given even turned the automail 'young' so to speak.

"You had an accident a long time ago."

Edward looked at his hand and narrowed his eyes at it for a second. His eyes then went downcast and he looked away.

"31-8-10…"

 _Oh no, not the numbers again…_ Riza thought to herself as she picked Edward up and set him on the ground.

"I'll go find a brush and brush your hair. I'll even put it in a braid for you-"

"No! No, I don't want it! I DON'T WANT IT!" he screamed, walking backwards away from her.

"Okay, okay! I won't… what _do_ you want?" she asked, trying to sound calm.

He looked around in a panic for a moment and then shook his head.

"Off… I don't want it. I want it off."

"Alright, I can cut your hair for you." He nodded and she held out her hand. "Come on, let's go find some scissors."

He took it and they walked off.

* * *

Roy was still thinking about everything that had happened when he seemed to finally realize that Maes was talking to him.

"What did you say?" He asked, shaking his head of current thoughts.

"I said who is he supposed to stay with? He seems more comfortable with Hawkeye but I'm sure you won't allow that."

"Actually that would be a good idea, considering... considering Al's armor is there. I can only sift through one bout of madness at a time."

Maes nodded but could tell Copplestone's outburst had really hit him hard.

"We'll figure it out, Roy. You saved Edward; he's in safe hands. Now all we have to do is make him realize that you are the one he's been waiting for. 'Roy will save me', that's what he says. You've done that and now we have to get him to get past the trauma, the fogginess of brain washing, the horrors of that place, and back to normal. He trusts you, _you_ , Roy... We just have to do a little word association."

Roy nodded and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'm going to go check on him a Hawkeye's."

"You going to stay there or at my place?"

Roy smirked. "Depends on her tolerance and Edward's stability. I don't want him to push me away any further than I am."

Maes nodded and they parted ways.

* * *

Roy got to Riza's apartment and knocked on the door. She opened it and smiled at him.

"I think you'll be happy to see him now. He's all clean and looking a little more like the Edward we knew."

"Good..." He said, truly unsure if that's what he wanted to see or not.

Riza led him to the kitchen where Edward was sitting at the table. Edward looked up and seemed to cower slightly but looked like he was trying to be brave. Roy just smiled at him as kindly and naturally as he could and followed Riza to the stove.

"You didn't say anything." She said quietly.

"There's no point in it. He doesn't know who I am. All I can do is be kind to him and hope he'll eventually trust me again."

"Will Copplestone talk with him?"

"Yeah, he said he would..."

Riza could tell something was bothering him as she threw the ground beef into her pan to brown.

"You want to tell me what's going on? This whole ordeal has taken quite a toll on everyone, you the most because you feel responsible."

Roy looked at Edward, who was drawing on a sheet of paper, and leaned on the counter. He smiled a little when Edward gasped and looked back at him, as if he knew he were being watched. He looked at Roy for a moment and then got off of the chair, running to the couch. Roy watched him as he grabbed his jacket and put it on, the jacket engulfing the boy ten times over. He noticed that his hair was cut now that he was standing but he also noticed that Edward was hugging himself and sniffing his sleeve. Riza looked over at him and then turned to where he was looking. Edward looked up and locked eyes with Roy, as if he were challenging him.

"Roy will save me." He held up an arm. "See? He _always_ comes."

Roy turned his head a little and decided to try something.

"Where is Roy?" Edward turned his head. "You have his jacket, so where is he?"

Edward thought for a second and then his eyes went downcast, misting over.

"52-8-8 34-57-8-74... A-56-60-8-10-D..." He said, ending in tears.

Riza scowled at her superior as Edward wiped his tears with the sleeve of Roy's coat.

"Stir this." She grumbled, going over to Edward.

He began to cry harder, wrapping his arms around Riza's neck.

"Roy will save me! He always comes! He always comes!"

Riza could only give her heart out to the broken child as she picked him up. Roy was focusing on cooking the meat, trying to keep it together. Watching what had just occurred made Copplestone's words even more true and it pissed him off so much that he wasn't sure if the steam was only coming from the pan and no this rage as well. The boy couldn't see him, even when he was right in front of him. _Too many wolves..._ he thought.

"Alright, now I'm serious, Colonel. As your friend, I want to know what the hell that was. What good was it to make him cry?"

"I asked Copplestone why Edward wouldn't recognize me when I'm right here and he said too many wolves."

"Wolves?"

"That phrase, 'Roy will save me'; he says it because he can't see me. My face is not recognizable because those bastards made it that way. They used his faith to screw up his mind. Copplestone said that what most likely happened was that he would say that phrase and someone would say I was there but it wouldn't be me. Then, that person would hurt him, and his faith would reboot, so to speak. After a while, the faces became irrelevant to him because he believes now that anyone claiming to be me is not me and thus, a threat, thus, not his savior. He... He believes in the _idea_ of me but his mind is so jacked up that 'seeing is believing' doesn't work on him... I'll have to earn it." He laughed humorlessly as tears clouded his vision. "I'll have to prove my own god damned worth... I have to fucking _earn_ my own fucking name all because they cried wolf too many times."

Riza reached over and turned the stove off. She moved the pan from his hands and made him turn to her. He broke in her arms, crying from exhaustion, fear, sadness, anger, everything.

Edward came out of the bedroom now that he was okay and slowly walked to the kitchen. He saw Riza hugging Roy and turned his head at them. His mind was confused at the tenderness Riza showed and the sadness rolling off Roy's demeanor. He couldn't remember any black haired people giving off such a strong emotion and definitely not any blonde haired people being so kind to the other. He only remembered the black haired people did very bad things to blonde haired people but this was different. This was something he'd seen before, felt once, but he couldn't place it.

Roy pulled back and Riza smiled a little.

"I need some sleep." Roy said with a laugh.

Riza nodded. "I think so too. You can take my bed for tonight."

He nodded and he turned, finding Edward there. They stared for a moment and Edward blinked a little.

"You alright?" Roy asked.

Edward nodded and shimmied just a little closer.

"I... I... You're nice!" He said, running behind the couch.

Riza and Roy looked at each other in confusion but Roy was too tired to understand the leap that had been made and a way into Edward's muddled and locked mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise we will move forward in the next chapter and stop with Roy's woe is me stuff. He's gonna get a solid night sleep and be able to think now. Cuz if he'd been thinking, he'd have seen the progress he missed with Ed just approaching him, shuffle or not. But, could it go forward or will the interview make set back


	10. Chapter 10

Screaming.

So much screaming.

It was as if a banshee had escaped Hell and pierced his ears with screams.

The screaming was also broken up with cries of a name. Not really a name but a word. It meant something to Edward, although he didn't want to open his eyes. It was too scary. The word suddenly turned into a coded message but Edward was so scared that he couldn't figure it out. He cowered in the corner, holding himself and wishing someone would come and save him. Suddenly, the screaming stopped and he finally opened his eyes. He looked around for a little bit, cold air blowing through wherever he was when he spotted a pile in the corner on the ground. After staring at it for a few moments, Edward crawled over to it and looked inside.

* * *

"Edward! Edward! Wake up!"

Edward woke up, finding himself sweating and breathing hard. Riza was looking at him with worry.

"Edward?"

He turned to her and launched into her arms, burying his face into her chest.

"What happened?" She asked softly.

He shuddered, trying to catch his bearings. The nice blonde lady was here. Roy's jacket was about him... He was safe..."

"Scary dream..." He mumbled.

Riza smiled and touched his head softly.

"Will you be alright?"

He nodded, not wanting to leave from the comfort of having her so near.

Riza smiled and pushed him from her to look at him.

"You need to get some sleep, Edward, you have a big day tomorrow. You'll need to be good and rested."

He lifted his head a little.

"What does edward mean?"

"What do you mean? It's your name." Riza said with a bit of concern. "Why do you ask?"

"The people have been calling me that but I didn't know what it was... I didn't know I had a name."

"Everyone has names... What did they call you in that place?"

"Jin Wawa... Mr. Tang said it meant 'golden child'."

"I see... If you didn't know what Edward was then why did you act like you did?" She asked, genuinely curious about the decision to take on a name he mentally seemed to not understand.

"I... I just... I didn't wanna make him mad! The black haired man that came to the place. He... He kept calling me that and when I acted like l knew what he was saying, he didn't yell at me." He looked away. "I just didn't want you to hurt me..."

The explanation seemed clear enough, given the circumstances. He'd been conditioned to seek the path of least pain, doing whatever it took to keep himself alive and away from affliction. If answering to a name he'd didn't know got favorable results and no pain, why wouldn't he go along with it?

"Are you mad at me?" He asked tears in his eyes and a pleading look. "I won't ask again. Honest. Please don't hurt me..."

Riza sighed and reached to pull him to her. He flinched but she gathered him in her arms and pulled him into her lap. He looked up as she moved a hair out of her face.

"I could never be mad and I would never hurt you. None of us would hurt you."

"Even... Even the black haired man?"

"Most definitely him. He would never, _ever_ hurt you. He wants to help you, just like me. He wants to save you."

Edward thought about it for a moment and sunk into her arms as well as the jacket.

"Edward is my name?"

"Edward Elric. We didn't make it up or anything."

He looked up quizzically. "What's _your_ name?"

"Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye."

Edward's eyes brightened and for the first time since his rescue, he laughed.

"That's a funny name."

As soon as his mouth upturned into a smile, as if he'd been stung, he gasped and immediately stopped. He looked away and fighter in Riza's lap.

"I- I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise."

"It's alright, Edward, it's perfectly alright to laugh."

He looked at her tentatively. He'd heard things like this before and he'd been foolish enough to believe it. But this was the nice blonde lady... She would never be that cruel... Right?

"It... It's okay?"

"Of course."

He nodded, although still not trusting the news. He'd believe it when he saw it.

"My name is Edward?"

"Or Ed."

"And you're Lieutenant?"

"That's my rank. My first name is Riza."

"Riza... I like that."

Riza slid down to lay back.

"I like it too." 

"Does... Does the nice black haired man have a name?"

Riza hesitated. She didn't want to dismiss Roy but telling Edward that his name was Roy seemed like bad idea. She feared he would go off the deep end again and she had made so much progress in so little time...

"You can call him Colonel."

"Oh..." He yawned and snuggled up to her. "I'm sleepy."

As if on cue, he fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Roy woke up to the smell of breakfast and mumbled something in his sleep before opening his eyes. He sat up and although there was a crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch, the sleep had definitely rejuvenated his mind and body. He stretched a little and leaned on the back of the couch, trying to wake up.

"Good morning, Colonel." Riza said.

He looked over at her in the doorway.

"Morning... where's Ed?"

"Uh..."

"Rar!" He said, popping up from behind the couch.

Roy looked over in surprise and Edward smiled. It was the first time Roy had seen him smile since he was rescued and his heart swelled.

"Were you scared?"

"Most definitely."

"I'm a goat! Rar!"

Roy looked at Riza and she shrugged.

"Not aure about that one. He just decided that on his own."

"Are you gonna eat with us, Colonel?" Edeard asked.

Roy looked at Riza again and she moved her head from him to follow her into the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah, I am." He said, anseering Edward's question as he followed Riza.

Edward watched them curiously.

* * *

"He called me Colonel... Does he know?"

"No. He was asking about names last night and asked what ours were. I figured it was easier and less detrimental if I said your name was Colonel. If what you say is right about his recognition, then insisting you were someone he believes you aren't would have only caused issues, I'm sure."

"Agreed..." Roy watched Edward as he crawled on the floor in his play. "He looks like a regular kid."

"His mind is free to do what it wants without fear of being tortured in one way or another."

Riza walked over to the stove and looked in the pot of boiling water.

"Eggs should be done soon. Seeing him so happy almost makes me want to not have Copplestone talk to him."

"True, but we need apprehend those black market men. The fact that they think they can steal children and get away with it needs to be addressed. We also have to get Ed back to normal _somehow_. He's not a four year old boy, but a teenager. I mean, what about alchemy?"

"I've been trying about all that too. It's just... after seeing him so broken and now that he's halfway decent, making him remember seems cruel."

"I know what you mean but... we *have* to. I also need to look up those abbreviations again. Now that I'm clear headed, I can finally _think_."

"This will be a long road."

"True."

Edward ran in and hid behind Riza.

"Riza, Riza! There's a black haired man outside! Don't let him take me!"

Riza and Roy looked at each other when there was a knock at the door. Roy got up and opened it, finding Maes.

"Oh, it's you."

"Who'd you think? How's Ed?"

"Very well, actually. Quite lively."

Maes smiled bright, knowing how much Roy had waited for that.

"I'm so happy for you!"

"You'll have to be cautious though because he's afraid of your hair."

"Ah, I see."

He walked in as Riza came in with Edward clinging to her tightly.

"Morning, Lieutenant Colonel."

"Morning."

Edward peeked from Riza's chest and looked at Maes with curious eyes. He looked back at Riza.

"He got the same name."

"It's a little different. That's Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, or just Maes."

Edward watched Maes for a moment.

"Is he a nice black haired man too?"

"He's even nicer than me." Roy said with a small smile.

Edward's eyes widened, looking at Roy.

"Even nicer than _you_?" He said, seeming truly astonished.

Maes' heart went out to him, seeing how amazed an act of kindness seemed to him. The fact that these emotions were so foreign to him now when he used to have problems just keeping them at bay before -not wanting people to even know he had them- just made the scenario that much more heart wrenching.

"Yup, he's ten times nicer than me." Roy added.

Edward turned to stare at Maes in awe and Roy smiled.

"I promise that here, a lot of black haired people are nice. They would never hurt you. Not while I'm here anyway."

"Or me."

"Or me. We won't let anyone _ever_ hurt you like that again, Ed."

Edward gasped, looking at Riza. "He knows my name!"

"Of course I do, we're friends."

"Friends?" He thought for a second and looked at sheepishly at Riza. "What are those?"

Riza smiled, putting her forehead to his. "They're people who care about you and will protect you always."

Edward seemed to understand. 

"Roy is my friend." Roy stiffened at his name. "He _must_ be because he always protects me!"

Roy looked away and Edward smiled, seeming pleased to have made the connection. He looked at Maes' military uniform and suddenly became serious. He looked at his 'new' friends and then went back to the uniform. He had Roy's jacket... He looked quizzically at Riza.

"Riza, Roy is my friend, right?"

"Of course. He's more than that though."

"He'd cross deserts for you... Never sleep if anything ever happened to you..." Roy said quietly.

"You know him?" He asked.

"Yeah... Pretty well."

He looked straight at him and turned his head.

"Then where is he? Where's Roy?"


	11. Chapter 11

“Where’s Roy?”

The answer was so simple. It was so simple that it made Roy want to cry. He was right there. _Right there_ … But Edward couldn’t see him. All he saw was a man with black hair. The image of him had been skewed by false proclamations and horrible consequences and he would never be able to see him for who he was.

“He’s at headquarters.” Maes said, answering Edward’s question. “He’s at headquarters and is going to help us to help you.”

Edward’s eyes brightened. “Really?!”

“Really.” He said, looking at Roy. “What do you remember about Roy, Edward? Do you know what he looks like?”

Edward suddenly became very scared and clung to Riza.

“No! No, I don’t know… I don’t know anything about it.”

Riza glared at Maes but Roy was interested in this particular conversation. It seemed like it might help.

“Did they hurt you, Ed? If you didn’t tell them what Roy looked like, did they say they would hurt you?”

“No! No, no, no, no! I don’t wanna!” he cried, seeming genuinely scared to answer.

“I think we should leave the questions to Copplestone.” Riza said, heading back into the kitchen.

Maes looked at Roy as he looked at him.

“Let me get dressed and go with you to see Copplestone. I want to put some request questions in whatever he had planned.”

Maes made a face at him. “What do you have planned, Roy?”

“Don’t worry… I think I may have a plan.”

Maes didn’t really like where things looked to be heading but at least everyone was happy and halfway decent this morning because he had a feeling the clouds would definitely descend pretty quickly by the end of the night.

* * *

Copplestone awaited Roy and his gang to come and have him interrogate a poor defenseless child that was half confused and half scared of everything that had to do with the man. He wished with all his might that what he could do for Edward would change things but Edward had to see who Roy was for himself and Roy had to be patient and let it happen. Neither of them were going to let it happen and one of them had the ability to try.

As if on cue, Roy and Maes walked into the interrogation room and Copplestone smiled at them.

“Colonel, Lieutenant Colonel. So wonderful to see you. Where’s the kid?”

“Hawkeye will be bringing him shortly. What exactly did you have planned for him?” Roy asked, sitting across from Copplestone.

“Flashcards. Kids love them and they teach an easy lesson.”

“Flashcards?” Maes said. “What do you mean?”

Copplestone leaned over and picked up some cards from the ground and put them on the table. He lifted one up and Roy saw the word **FULLMETAL** on it.

“I hold this card up and ask him what this word means to him. He tells the first thing he thinks of. Anything with a definitive answer gets taken out of the pile but those he can’t answer get pushed to the back. The trick is to understand what he identifies other things with. For example, if I asked him what **FULLMETAL** meant to him, he could either say his automail or he may say a suit of armor… he may say nothing. We _need_ to know how he associates things so that we can get a better picture of how he thinks.”

“What other cards do you have in there?”

Copplestone showed him the rest of the cards and Roy nodded.

“May I add a couple more? There’s been a couple of discoveries that I would like to try and get a hold of.”

Copplestone frowned. “It really depends on what you want to put. These are words I picked specifically because they were less triggering. I don’t need the kid to go into hysterics.”

They worked on the flashcards for a moment when the door opened and Riza walked in with Edward. Roy looked over and smiled, getting up and kneeling to him.

“Hey, Edward.”

“Hi, Colonel.” He said softly.

“I want you to meet someone. He’s a nice man.” He said, holding Edward’s hand.

Edward held fast to his finger as Roy brought him over and picked him up.

“This is Beje Copplestone, he’s a friend of ours.”

“Hello, Edward.” Edward waved a little. “Do you mind if I have a little chat with you?”

Edward looked at Roy in confusion as Roy sat him down in the chair.

“Mr. Copplestone is going to talk with you for just a little bit. Me and Maes and Riza are going to be behind that wall right there.” Roy pointed at the two way mirror. “We’ll be right there.”

“Why?”

“Because Mr. Copplestone needs your full attention and we don’t want you to have anymore issues. He’s just going to show you a few things and you tell him what you want, okay?”

“Okay…”

Roy smiled and the three officers left to watch from the other half of the room.

* * *

Copplestone smiled kindly at Edward and shuffled his flashcards a little. He flipped them over and saw the first thing and then put it to the back. The second one was better and he smiled at Edward.

“Can you tell me what this means?”

He held up the word **ALCHEMY** to Edward. Edward looked at it for a moment and then looked at Copplestone.

“I don’t read good.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. It says ‘alchemy’.”

Edward thought about it for a second and then clapped his hands, placing it on the wood, and made the wood turn into a statue of sorts. Copplestone smiled and Edward looked at him.

“Is that right?”

“There are no right or wrong answers. You answer how you feel like answering.”

Edward had heard this before and wanted nothing to do with it. Last time he answered how he felt he got a good punch in the gut. He didn’t feel like doing that today.

Copplestone could see the reservation on his face and he put the cards down, looking at Edward calmly.

“Edward?” He looked up and Copplestone smiled. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

Edward gulped, unsure of how to answer. If he said no he may get hit but if he said yes…

“Y-yes…”

Copplestone sighed, knowing he was just saying that because he feared getting hurt. He needed Edward’s trust in order to move forward or he would never fully display his true thoughts.

“You know who Roy is, right?”

Edward brightened. “Roy is my friend!”

“No he isn’t. Roy is a jerk.”

Edward’s eyebrows furrowed. “Roy is my friend. Roy will save me.”

The fact that was still using the future tense troubled Copplestone but he had to press forward.

“No he won’t. He’s not going to come and save you at all.”

* * *

Roy wanted to climb through the glass and throttle Copplestone. After all this time and he was making Edward think that he wasn’t coming.

“Roy, give him a second.”

“What the hell is he doing?!”

“Give him a minute. We did this because Copplestone knows kids. He obviously has a plan. He knows what he’s doing.”

Roy gritted his teeth but watched on.

* * *

Edward’s eyebrows furrowed more.

“Yes he is. Roy is going to come and save me like he _always_ does.”

“If you say that he’s going to save you again, there will be consequences.” Copplestone said, glaring at Edward. “Now I’m telling you that Roy _isn’t_ coming.”

Edward suddenly launched across the table at Copplestone, making them fall over and began to hit him.

“Roy will save me! He always saves me! He’s coming! Roy is going to come and save me and he’s here and he’ll keep me safe!”

Copplestone let him continue to hit him as tears fell down Edward’s cheeks and he began to cry.

“You don’t know him… he’ll come…”

Copplestone sat up and pulled Edward to him, holding him gently.

Edward suddenly realized what he had done and gasped, scrambling from Copplestone but he looked at him softly.

“Edward, I won’t hurt you. No matter what you say or what you do, I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

Edward swallowed a little and Copplestone stood back up.

“Do you believe me?”

Edward didn’t want to but he had just hit the man really hard –and in the face- and even though he had said there would be consequences, he hadn’t done anything to him. In fact, he actually held him like Riza did and he didn’t feel scared at all. The man had lied but it was in a good way.

Edward finally nodded and Copplestone smiled, seeing that it was from his own actions, not out of fear.

“I’m glad. Please sit down again for me.” Edward did as he said as he sat down as well. “Now I promise that whatever you say about the words I show you are neither right nor wrong. It’s all about what you think of them, alright?” Edward nodded. “Okay. Oh and I know Roy will save you.”

Edward smiled. “He always comes.”

“That’s right. He does.” Copplestone said, looking at the two way mirror.

* * *

Roy glared at the two as Maes looked on, impressed.

“That was an interesting way to gain his trust.”

Roy tightened his crossed arms, sulking. Riza smiled a little and put her hand on her superior’s arm.

“Sir, don’t take it personally.”

“It pisses me off that everyone can gain his trust but me, the one he’s been waiting for.”

“We know but this is what this exercise is for, Roy. If you’re going to be all pissy boots about it, then maybe you should just let me and Lieutenant Hawkeye watch the interrogation and you go find out what those numbers he always says are. Maybe if you find out what they mean, it will help _you_ get into his mind.”

“Hughes is right, Colonel. In the beginning, mentioning you was a trigger to him, making him speak in code. He was talking to you, but you didn’t understand. Maybe you should go look then up?”

Roy looked back in and saw that Copplestone had the **ALCHEMY** sign back up and Edward was standing up, clapping his hands. He turned the table into a rocking horse and Copplestone laughed.

“Very good. That’s quite impressive. Now can you turn it back?”

Roy sighed. “Fine, I’ll go and take a look. It won’t take me long…”

He left to go to the library and look up the numbers he had written down earlier.

* * *

After the first initial flashcard game, Copplestone motioned for Maes to come in and they let Edward go with Riza.

“You saw I assume?”

“Of course. I see you didn’t show him some of the ones we asked you to.”

“There were too many close calls as it was. I didn’t think **FULLMETAL** was going to be one but you saw how he acted.” He pulled out one and held it up. “Did you really think **ALPHONSE** was going to be a good idea? I thought **ARMOR** was going to have him in shambles.”

“You’re right. It was too risky.”

Copplestone leaned on his hand. “Where is ole Roy-Boy? I thought he’d clobber in here like the oaf he is.”

“He went to do some research.”

Copplestone smiled sadly. “Ah, I see.”

Maes looked at his watch. “He should be back by now. I wonder what’s taking him so long.”

Copplestone hit the cards on the table to straighten them.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll find him wherever he’s doing his research.”

Maes could tell he knew something.

“What do you know? You look a little smug.”

“I’m not smug at all.” He looked up. “I feel sorry for the guy. If he’s doing the research I think he is, he’s in for a rude awakening.”

Maes frowned and ordered Copplestone to be taken back to his cell.

* * *

Maes headed toward the library and just as Copplestone had said, Roy was still there.

“Roy? Hey, I thought you would be done by now?”

He didn’t say anything and Maes went to the table he was at.

“Roy? What’s wrong?”

Roy had his face in his hands and looked up at Maes. He could see that Roy’s eyes were red and he became concerned.

“Roy? What happened? Tell me what’s going on.”

“A-56-60-8-10-D. That’s what he would say after he would say I was coming to save him.”

“Yeah…”

Roy slid a piece of paper over to Maes and he looked down at it, reading what it said. He looked back at Roy, who was smiling sadly. Maes looked at it again.

“Are you sure?”

“The elements don’t lie, Maes… A-56-60-8-10-D is the letter A, barium, neodymium, oxygen, neon, and the letter D. If I put the abbreviations for the elements together with the letters, I get A-Ba-Nd-O-Ne-D.” He looked at Maes, tears filling his eyes as anger welled up within him. “He can’t see me because he never believed I was coming and he _still_ doesn’t.” He pointed at the paper. “ _This_ is how he feels and when he speaks my name, he may say I’m coming but _this_ is how he really feels: abandoned.”


	12. Chapter 12

Edward drew a picture on the paper in front of him at the kitchen table with Riza behind him making something for dinner. He was humming happily and Riza smiled while she was cooking, happy to know that Edward was happy.

“Lookie!”

Riza turned as Edward held out a picture to her and she smiled grabbing it. Her smile faded for a second but came back when she looked at Edward. She put the stove on low and bent down to him.

“Can you tell me who these people are?”

“That’s me!” he said, pointing to the small blond haired boy on the paper. “And that’s you.” He said, pointing to the tall blond person in blue. “See? We’re holding hands.”

“I see… and what is this?” she asked, pointing to a purposefully colored black speck way off in the distance.

Edward stared at it for a second and frowned.

“I dunno.”

Riza could tell he was trying to figure it out when she pointed to the picture of him.

“What’s this?”

Edward smiled and pointed.

“Those are arms.”

“I see that but who do they belong to?”

Edward frowned and stepped back, looking at her.

“They… they protect me… I-“

* * *

_BROTHER! BROTHER HELP ME!!!_

* * *

“No! No, no, no! Stop it!” Edward yelled, hitting his head frantically.

“Edward, what’s wrong?”

“It keeps calling me…”

* * *

_”Roy will save me like he always does! He’ll turn you into ashes and kick your ass while he’s at it. Hell, he may even kick your ass while you’re ash so that no one will find you. You’re in for it, I’m telling ya.”_

_“Roy? As in Roy Mustang in the Amestris army?”_

_“Yeah, I’m sure you’ve heard of him.”_

_“Can’t believe we didn’t recognize you all this time. You’re that little alchemy boy that he took under him. You look a lot different than what we imagined.”_

_“It’s not my fault I’m like this. Roy will put me back to normal.”_

_“Well you know what? I’m glad you said something because I remember seeing that guy sneaking around.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah, I think Byles saw some activity over there by that tree. We’ve been acting like we can’t see him…”_

_Edward went to check out the tree but was punched solidly in the gut when he got there, making him lose the air in his lungs. He doubled over and felt another kick in the stomach._

_“Roy! Help! Please… Please… I need you…”_

_The men laughed as another one came over and began to kick him as well._

_“He’s abandoned you, kid. No one cares about you. No one’s going to come!”_

_“You’re wrong! He’ll save me! He knows I’m missing and will come and find me! YOU’RE WRONG!”_

**Be strong, Brother… Don’t break… Remember what you told me that soldiers used to do?**

_“That doesn’t work here.” Edward mumbled, his eyes shut to tight he thought his eyelids would tear._

**You can use it in a different way. All they’re doing is taunting you, torturing you… Use it to disappear…**

_“Disappear?” he whispered, his face getting pushed deeper into a mud hole._

**He abandoned you and you know it. It’s been months and he hasn’t come. You and I both know he’d be here by now, but he isn’t. You have to face the facts that he isn’t coming…**

_“You’re wrong…”_

**If I’m wrong, then lock yourself away. You just need to _survive_. Let everything go and _survive_. Live.**

**_What soldiers do… Do what soldiers do…_ **

_“57-53-23. 38-23-53-23.”_

_“What’d he say?”_

_Edward felt himself being pulled out of the mud and held in midair._

_“What did you say you little shit?”_

**_Stay alive so Roy can come… He always comes… I know that for sure. He didn’t abandon me… I know he didn’t…_ **

_“Gah, he’s just babbling nonsense now. He’s cracked. Let’s get the rest of them rounded up and head out.”_

_“A-56-60-8-10-D… A-56-60-8-10-D”*_

* * *

“No! No, no, no, no!” Riza yelled, getting on the floor next to Edward, who was in the fetal position repeating numbers. “No, please, Edward! Edward, snap out of it!”

Edward didn’t hear her and just kept repeating the numbers. She grabbed a hold of him and held him to her, rocking back and forth on the floor with him.

“Please don’t revert back… Please… We just got you to semi-normal…”

Riza buried her nose in Edward’s hair, just rocking with him as he shook violently in her arms, repeating numbers in a sequence that didn’t make sense. Riza wished she could be as smart as Edward or Roy in regards to the periodic table of elements so that she _could_ make sense of the numbers but she was too busy trying to keep herself calm and get Edward back to normal to care.

After what seemed like hours, Edward finally stopped shaking and Riza lifted her head from his and moved her hand, putting it on Edward’s forehead to pull his head back and look at his face. He was staring at nothing but his golden eyes were wet and puffy from where he must have been crying. His eyes were slightly bloodshot from the tears but they were focused on nothing.

“Edward?” Riza said softly, her voice barely a whisper.

He didn’t do anything so she licked her lips and tried again.

“Edward, can you hear me?”

He didn’t respond but he moved his head a little to rest more on her chest. Riza pulled him into her arms and figured out how to get up. She moved him around and held him like the little boy he was as he settled his head on her shoulder. She walked over to the phone and dialed Roy’s number.

* * *

It had been at least three days since the ‘interview’ with Copplestone and also the revelation of what the numbers meant. He thought it would be a good idea to stay away from Edward for just a little bit while he made up a plan to get him to realize that Edward was safe and that he was the Roy that Edward was looking for. So far, it wasn’t going as well as he wanted it to because most of Roy’s plans involved screaming at Edward and shaking him until his stubborn little brain comprehended that Roy was Roy and that he matched the Roy that Edward was waiting for. Of course, he knew that that wasn’t going to happen. It irked him, but he had a feeling that he would have to get advice from Copplestone in order to find out a good way to reveal the truth of his identity to Edward.

He was contemplating this issue, tapping the pen against his mouth, when the phone rang, making him jump a little. He regained his composure and picked up the receiver.

“Colonel Mustang speaking.”

“Hey, Colonel, it’s me, Hawkeye. Do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, I’m not busy. What’s going on?”

There was silence for a little bit and Roy wondered if everything was alright.

“It’s Edward, sir. Something triggered and he… he’s reverted.”

“Reverted? How do you mean?”

“He drew this picture and when I asked him a question about it, he suddenly started screaming, grabbing his head, and then he fell to the floor and curled up in the fetal position spouting numbers again. He finally stopped shaking just moments ago but it’s like his body is here but he isn’t.”

Roy narrowed his eyes a little. “Is he still spouting numbers?”

“Yes but he’s mumbling them. He has no focus in his eyes.”

“Shit… So that’s how he survived. It didn’t occur to me until just now that he’s doing a military tactic.”

“Wait, you mean he’s using the numbers to check out of reality, so to speak?”

“It seems that way. If he’s doing the default speaking method, instead of using it to keep from telling secrets, he used it to keep his sanity. That means that the real Edward is tucked away somewhere in his mind. Whatever the memory trigger was, it made him go back to keeping his sanity and therefore, doing the default speech.”

“I’ve never heard of it being used that way.”

“Well, that’s the whole point of the tactic anyway. The enemy figures that if they torture you enough, you will divulge secrets and so you make the conscious effort to use your default speech, so to say, so that your mouth his moving but you don’t say anything to reveal the secrets. The problem sometimes is that if you’re not careful, you could accidentally say something if you’re thinking about _not_ saying something. So, the only solution is to remove your mind from the situation and let your mouth talk because sometimes being conscious of the issue will only make it worse. Damn it, this brings on a whole new set of problems.”

“I’ll say…”

“May I see him?”

“Yeah. I’m going to put him in bed right now. Colonel, we need to get him back to normal.”

“I know. I’m trying to figure that out as well. Too many factors are at play.”

“Of course, sir.”

“I’ll be over there shortly.”

“I’ll be expecting you.”

He hung up and sighed, not happy about this bump in the road. But now that the clouds were starting to lift and he was starting to understand a little better what was happening and why, he was starting to get a better grip on helping his young subordinate get past the traumas and get back to normal.

* * *

Riza put Edward in the bed when he turned over and looked at her.

“Riza?” he said softly.

She sat on the bed next to him.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“My head hurts.”

She smiled and touched his forehead and then touched his face tenderly.

“It seems like you had a bad memory. You need to take a nap and get all rested up.”

“Are we still having stew?” he asked, yawning and looking at her with tired eyes.

“We can still have stew if you want. The Colonel is going to come by and see how you are.”

He smiled. “I like him. He’s a nice black haired man.”

“That he is.”

“Riza?”

“Yes, Edward.”

“Did Roy come and save me?”

Riza didn’t know how to answer that question but by the time she could find a good way to answer him, Edward had fallen asleep. Riza touched his face softly and sighed sadly.

“You have so much worse things coming your way… Please have the strength to carry on.”

“57-53-23.” Edward sighed in his sleep. “13 53-16 31-8-10.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we get to see how he got to start using those numbers. this is about six months into his capture and so that's why he sounds like his old self and a child at the same time. he still believed that roy was coming for him but he was also realizing that keeping himself looking innocent and keeping quiet was working better in his favor. when he finally breaks it's because it's been about a hundred or so times this same scenario had happened


	13. 13

Roy knocked on the door of Riza’s apartment and she opened the door. She smiled and let him in as he took off his coat and put it on the hook.

“Can you show me the drawing he did? I wanted to take it to Copplestone and see if maybe he could see something that we don’t.”

Riza grabbed the picture and showed it to him. Roy made a face and pointed at the arms that were hovering over Ed’s portrait.

“What’s this?”

“That’s where I lost him. He kept saying ‘they protect me’.”

“The numbers he spouted, did you write them down?”

“Yeah… When he fell asleep he kept repeating them. Here…”

She handed him the piece of paper with the numbers on it and Roy made a face.

“It says ‘live’ and ‘Al is gone’.” Riza gasped and Roy sighed. “This is becoming very, very complicated.”

“Agreed… What do we do? If what you say is true, then I guess his subconscious knows that Al is gone and that he even existed. Do you think we should have another flashcard session with Copplestone that includes these things?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to shatter him completely. He’s broken and cracked but we can put him back together if we do it right. If we shatter his spirit completely then we may lose his whole being.”

Riza smiled, happy to find Roy actually thinking ahead instead of just bulldozing forward just so Edward would remember them.”

“Well, we can’t do anything now. You’re welcome to eat stew with us.”

“No thanks, I should-“

The sound of Roy’s protesting stomach made him blush in embarrassment and he cleared his throat a little.

“Ah…”

“Come eat with us, Colonel.” Riza said with a small smile.

He nodded and Riza pointed to her room.

“Ed’s napping if you want to let him know that the food is ready, then we’ll eat.”

Roy nodded and went to Riza’s room.

* * *

Roy opened the door and saw Edward’s tiny face snuggled under the covers. He seemed content for the moment and wasn’t spouting off number, which was good. Roy hated to wake him but he needed to eat.

“Edward? Edward, wake up.”

Edward stirred and sat up, looking at him. His eyes widened for a moment.

“Roy?”

Roy’s heart leapt for a second as he watched Edward’s eyes suddenly go downcast and he looked away, saddened.

“Oh, Colonel…”

Roy let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and took on his role as Colonel, the nice black haired man.

“Riza said that the stew was done… Were you dreaming about Roy?”

Edward’s face lit up. “Yeah! He saved me from the bad people and took me home.”

“I see…”

Edward narrowed his eyes a little and reached out to touch Roy’s face.

“Colonel, your face looks like Roy’s.”

Roy smiled. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

Edward stared at him for a moment longer and then held up his arms.

“I want stew.”

Roy smirked and picked him up to take him to get stew.

* * *

“He looked right at me and asked if I was Roy and then in a flash I was back to just the Colonel in his mind. Maes, we need to move forward in the process. We need to get him back to normal.”

“Roy, you can’t just turn a kid into a teenager and expect him to be alright. As you said, he’s broken and *can* be fixed but if you try to go too fast, you’ll shatter him and who knows if you’ll be able to pick up all the pieces. You _have_ to stay calm.”

“I know; I’m just brainstorming… The more he stays in this form, the more I feel like he’s slipping away from us. I think if we could at least get him back to his regular form, we can try and figure something else out.”

“You’d have to talk to Copplestone about that since he’s the only one who can make the formula…”

“Do you think we could put him under house arrest?”

Maes looked at Roy with a lifted eyebrow.

“House arrest?”

“Yeah. He is the only one that has penetrated through to the deeper parts of Ed, making him able to talk about them. I don’t like him and I hate what he did but… he can’t stay that way. From what I gathered, he knows about Alphonse but just isn’t putting two and two together. He needs to grow up.”

“What does that have to do with Copplestone?”

“If we put him under house arrest, it will make him more accessible as and he has more freedom to make the serum to change Edward back.”

Maes rubbed the back of his neck a little and leaned back in his chair.

“I don’t know, Roy… I’ll see what I can do in regards to moving him but I don’t think I’ll get much luck. Did you still want to talk to him about the picture?”

“Yeah.”

Maes handed him a piece of paper.

“That’s permission for you to go alone. If you want me to try and get him under house arrest, I will need to start on this now. I’m also trying to put testimonies of people who may know about the people who took Ed. We’re tracking them down to stop them as we speak.”

“So you know who it was?”

“Not necessarily, but I have about four different witnesses that all report a group of strange men coming into town making strange requests and reports of several people who swear that they hear children crying in the night.”

Roy squeezed the paper in his hand, fuming over the poor children who were caught up in those horrible people’s money and gain. They were probably taken from their homes like Edward was and forced to do terrible things. He breathed in and shook his head, trying to focus on the one child he could at least try to save that was in his care. Although he cared for the others, they were far out of his reach at the moment and Maes was taking on that challenge. His focus needed to be getting Edward back to normal.

“I’ll go talk to Copplestone then.”

Maes nodded and he went to go see the man.

* * *

The men brought Copplestone into the room and he smirked at Roy as he sat at the other side of the table.

“Well, I am just pleased as punch that you’re here, Colonel. It’s not as fun without you.”

“I’m sure.” Roy said.

“Did you figure out what you’ve been missing this whole time?”

Roy nodded stiffly. “That Edward isn’t even close to getting better? That he believes I’ve abandoned him? Yeah, I figured that out.”

“Good for you! I was wondering when you’d get your head out of your ass and start looking at the real issue at hand.”

“I _was_ looking at the real issue… just not in the right place.”

“Titty sprinkles.” Roy glared at him. “Admit you didn’t know what the hell you were doing.”

“I knew exactly what I was doing.”

“Of course you did.”

“Enough of the talk, Copplestone. I have something I need you to help me with.”

“Isn’t that all our little talks consist of anyway? You have issues, I have answers, laddy-da…”

Roy pulled out Edward’s drawing and placed it on the table, scooting it to Beje.

“Edward drew this. When Hawkeye asked what was going on, he relapsed for a moment.”

“I see… What am I looking at?”

“Hawkeye said that these arms caused the relapse and that she noticed this black dot was put there on purpose. It was drawn.”

“What happened when she asked about the arms?” Copplestone asked as he looked at the drawing.

“She said he told her ‘they protect me’ and then began to spout numbers again. She had written them down for me and they translated to ‘live’ and ‘Al is gone’. Until she told me what he was doing, it didn’t occur to me that he was performing a military tactic.”

“I could have told you that.” Beje said with a frown. “You must have been completely unaware of anything if you just figured out he was using the default speech tactic.” He looked at Roy and threw his hands in the air. “My God! You’re the dumbest guy I think I’ve ever met! You don’t know anything about your subordinates!”

“I know plenty about them!” Roy roared, standing up. “Stop undermining me and help me figure out what this picture means!”

“Sit down, Colonel.” Copplestone said calmly.

Roy did as he said and Copplestone pointed to the arms on the picture.

“Why did he say ‘live’?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. We can tell subconsciously that he knows his brother is dead. We think it has to do with him.”

Beje looked at the picture again and noticed that the arms were colored gray with black hands. He stared at it for a moment and then looked up at Roy.

“The armored kid, the one they scratched out the blood seal from… That was his brother, right?”

Roy turned his head away. “Yeah.”

Beje turned the picture back around and pointed at the arms.

“The arms are gray and the hands are black. The armor that that kid was sealed in was gray and he had black gauntlets for hands, right? These arms are Alphonse.”

“That doesn’t make sense though. How could Al be helping him if he was dead?”

Copplestone pointed to his head. “Little birdies.”

“What?”

“Voices, birdies, whatever you want to call them. They are the things that either keep us sane or make us go *in*sane. They are the things that say, ‘Beje that’s hot, don’t touch it’ or they say ‘Beje, that’s hot. Go pour it on your sister and see what happens to her skin.’ Sometimes these little voices have their own voices or, depending on what role they take on, they have the voices of people we know.”

Roy’s eyes lit up. “So Edward’s inner monologue was Al’s voice.”

“Looks like it to me. That was the one thing in life he wanted to fix, his brother. It was all he had left in this world and he was taken away from it, left with the agonizing screams and cries of his brother calling for him. Something like that’d make you go insane, but that kid is strong. I saw it when he was with me. He was smart and he was strong. Those two things kept him from falling apart, checking out and going bye-bye the first time when he saved his brother… but now Alphonse is dead. Completely gone. No amount of smarts or strength is going to bring him back.”

“If you hadn’t turned him into a kid-“

“It wouldn’t have mattered, Roy. The kid was rare, a golden sun in a sea of black. These people were quite aware of how alchemy worked, not your run of the mill black marketers. Like I said, they knew about the blood seal on Alphonse and scraped it away. If they know that much then I’m sure they would have found ways to get Edward somehow, some way.”

“So what can we do? The more Edward stays a child, the more he slips away. We need to get him back to normal but we can’t make him break completely or we’ll lose him forever, teen or not.”

“Well…” Beje looked at the picture for a second and then pointed at the black dot. “You need to turn this black dot into these arms.”

“What do you mean?”

“’Live’. That one word was what kept him going, being said by Alphonse in his head. ‘Live’. That kid was waiting for you to come and find him, endured so many tortures and who knows what but you never came. He feels abandoned by you and that’s why the voice of comfort, the voice of reason, the voice of _sanity_ , was his brother, the only one he felt could help him at the time. Alphonse said ‘live’ and it looks like the only way he could live was to forget who he was, what his purpose was. He had to forget _you._ In order to live he had to forget that he had been abandoned and forgotten. He had to leave himself in a little space in his mind and use the only tactic he knew to forget Edward Elric existed.

“This black dot is you, Roy. He drew you in this picture because no matter how much he can forget himself, that he was Edward Elric, he can never forget the feeling of abandonment. It is etched into his brain, a black dot. Alphonse’s voice of reason can tell him to live all day long and he can try to keep the horrors, the pain, and the feelings from before at bay but he can _never_ forget that the one person he felt was coming to find him, to save him, never came. _You_ are the black spot on his white innocence. _You_ have to become _these_ arms.”

Roy stared at the picture, feeling like he was nothing but scum. He should have known earlier, he should have been able to see the pain in Edward’s eyes but he didn’t. _Maybe Copplestone is right… maybe I **don’t** know my own subordinates._ In frustration, defeat, anger, and sorrow, Roy began to cry. He covered his eyes to keep from facing Copplestone, but he cried nonetheless. He didn’t realize how idiotic he’d been to wait so long to find Edward. Instead of going out to look for him, he sat there just hoping and praying, not acting. _He_ caused this pain… _he_ caused everything.

Copplestone could tell that the new finally seemed to seep into Roy’s mind. He could tell that he really loved Edward as a subordinate and almost like a father. He reached out and touched Roy’s arm.

“Colonel,” Roy looked up a little. “I want to help you, I really do, but I can only do so much. He’s looking for _you_ , Roy.”

“Help me.” Roy looked up and wiped his face, getting a calm look on his face again. “Help me find Edward and save him.”

Beje smiled and nodded. “It would be my pleasure.”


End file.
